To The Other Woman

I'd like to take the time to speak to the dreaded "other woman" today. The topic has been on my mind. (I was watching Love & Hip Hop last night, my guilty pleasure, and I felt really bad for Shay) If you don't watch the show, you probably don't know what I am talking about but this young lady is where I was a few years ago, continually drawn back into this man's love triangle with the inability to tell him no. This will not be a "bash" post but rather an informative yet encouraging post, in my hopes anyway.

When we think of the "other woman", we often think of the home wrecking female who has no self-respect and will open her legs for the attention of another woman's man. That's what she appears to be but what she really is, is a hurt woman. A woman who has fallen in love with another woman's man and cannot break the connection because the man continues to hold her on a string. It's not always the case that the woman blatantly tries to entice another woman's man, although in some cases it is, but majority of the time, this woman has made some kind of emotional connection with this man and he took advantage of that, catching her up in his love triangle. Creating in her mind that there is actually something special between them when he is only using her for his sexual pleasure. As the "other woman", you will never have his heart. His heart is with the woman he calls wife, fiancé or girlfriend. If he really cared about you, he would be claiming you and not keeping you a secret or just making house calls when it's convenient for him. He may take you to lunch every once in a while, somewhere where no one who knows his REAL woman will see. He never takes you around his family or his friends, unless you have mutual friends. The people who really matter to him has never heard your name or seen your face or he if they have, he has never introduced you as "girlfriend". It's a harsh truth but I know these things because I was in the "other woman's" shoes. I felt what she felt. I was often left lonely when the guy would go back to where his heart really was.

My heart goes out to the "other woman". She doesn't know her worth. God has a special place in his heart for us women. We are called to be virtuous wives. He calls us, "more precious than rubies"! (Proverbs 31:10). Every thing that God created is beautiful and perfect. We were "fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We, as women, have to know our worth. When we don't know our worth or aren't affirmed in how valuable we are, we tend to settle for what we can get. We will settle for a man who is already attached because we just want somebody. I'm telling you today, YOU DESERVE MUCH MORE! If he has already put a ring on another woman's finger, he is not yours and he does not value your worth at all. If he only wants sex from you the majority of the time, he does not value your worth. Now if you are the type of woman who just does not care and you are happy with yourself for breaking up a marriage, engagement, etc., then you are in my prayers. I believe the saying "the way you got the man is the same way you will lose him". What makes you think he will suddenly change and be faithful to you if he was messing with you behind his wife's, fiancé's or girlfriend's back? You think you can put some sort of magic on him? You're probably thinking, "If I have his baby then he will have to love me". Nope, still doesn't work that way. Some of you may succeed, but you yourself know that the love won't be authentic or real. Proverbs 6:23-26 warns the man of the seductress woman or harlot (which in today's language is whore).

Ladies, I want to encourage you not to settle. Don't be some man's play toy. Don't allow him to constantly devalue you. You are worth and deserve much more than that. Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. You are somebody's "good thing", you will bring some good man favor from the Lord! Notice it says HE that finds a wife not SHE that goes looking for a man to make her husband. Ask God to prepare you for your husband, to grow you into the woman He created you to be so that when your husband finds you he will have no doubt that you are his "good thing". Know that God has something greater for you! Jeremiah 17:7 says: Blessed is the man (or woman) who trusts in the Lord and whose hope is in the Lord. Trust God to bless you! He will give you the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him (Psalm 37:4). I know it can be hard to tear yourself away from a man after you are emotionally invested, it may even be hard for you tell Him no, but if you continue being someone's "side chick", you will never be someone's "good thing". Believe that GREATER IS COMING and set yourself in a position to receive greater!