But God, I Don't Want To

Am I the only one who's been here before? God will keep tugging and tugging, sending you little conviction notes and reminders of what He needs you to do but you just don't want to do it? Sometimes it just doesn't even seem fair. Maybe you weren't the one in the wrong; maybe you actually deserve the apology. Or maybe you made the wrong move/decision/choice and God told you to correct it and make the right one. Whatever it may be, it takes some humility to do it.

I sure know this feeling all too well. Because I have a constant desire to please God and I love Him with everything in me, I am often the one who is convicted sooner or should I say, broken down by His word sooner. I am sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and I am grateful for that. I don't always want to follow the instruction right away though. I fight and  fight. I try to justify why I shouldn't have to do it. When all in all, I am likely just prolonging the process for what God is trying to do next.

How often do you think we hold up blessings, promotions, or prayers all because pride won't let us complete the one (humbling) task God is pushing us toward? How much do you think we hinder our own spiritual growth and bring to a halt some of the plans/ideas God has placed in our hearts to bring to pass, all because we cannot get past "it's not fair, I shouldn't have to..."?

I am currently reading in the book of James. Take a look at James 1:2-3 (really, open your bible and read it. Then you will be able to say you read your bible today...you're welcome :P). I am reading out of a bible featuring notes and commentary by Joyce Meyer. In her Life Point (commentary) she says the following:

The bible talks about purification, sanctification, sacrifice, and suffering. These are not popular words; nevertheless, if we are to be Christlike in character, we must sometimes go through difficult circumstances to learn His ways. I struggled with this process for a long time, but I finally realized that God was not going to do things my way. He placed people and situations in my life that caused me to want to quit this whole process, and He did not want an argument from me. He only wanted to hear, "Yes, Lord. Your will be done."

There's that tag line again. YOUR WILL BE DONE. And I wasn't even searching for it! I know I can relate to the way she felt about struggling and wanting to quit. Especially when you feel like you're always the one getting the slap in the face and having to turn the other cheek. In all though, we have to stand on God's promise to give us hope in our final outcome (Jeremiah 29:11 AMP).

So, as I am encouraged by the Holy Spirit and I encourage myself, I encourage you to pull yourself together, push that pride, fear, shame, etc. aside then go ahead and do what God is telling you, even urging you to do. Do it, so that you can move forward in the promise because He is definitely a promise keeper!

#ThyWillBeDone
#GreaterIsComing

Functioning in Dysfunction

Is there such a thing as a functional family? It seems that all families, no matter how perfect they may look or try to look, have some form of dysfunction and each family members is taught by one another how to get along in the midst of the dysfunction.

I'm sure it's probably hard for the members to recognize the dysfunction because, in all actuality, it's been their normal way of life. So when someone else points it out (intentionally or unintentionally), what do you do??

At this stage of my life, I have come to understand more and more about myself as well as see things I may not have seen before. These things are revealed to me through different avenues but nonetheless, revealed. The challenge is taking these things to God and allowing Him to either guide me or work out what he needs to work out in me.

This whole week, the word GRACE has arisen on multiple occasions. God uses so much grace with His children and we are to mirror Him. Honestly, sometimes I just want to throw grace out of the window.. maybe I should say most times, and I want to move forward the way that I want to move forward. When I do it my way, I'm continuing in the dysfunction, whether it be within family, friendships, the work place, etc.

I am then, again, brought back to THY WILL BE DONE. As hard as it is to show grace, it's even more detrimental to recognize the dysfunction and continue to function in it because of my own fleshy desire. It may take some prayer, some fasting and maybe even a little time to get out of the flesh and just be obedient to His word but we must press on.

Remembering that it's all for God and removing either the actual person or situation can make the obedience a little easier. Overall, we desire to please God and want His will to be done.

Thy Will Be Done

Here I am, once again, starting over. As long as I never give up on the blogging, I will continually begin again!

I am at a very different stage in my life since the initial post in this blog series. And in this stage, my constant tag line is "Thy Will Be Done". I have to seek God more on behalf of my family, my friends, and myself and all I ever want is for God's will to come to pass.

These last few days have brought about such eye opening clarity. All things happen for a reason in my belief and boy do I see clearly! God recently placed something in my heart and I definitely received the confirmation that I need to make a move on it!

Sometimes, we have situations or confrontations that occur in our lives that the enemy tries to use as a weapon against us but guess what?! No weapon FORMED against you shall prosper! There will absolutely be weapons with your name on it but it WILL NOT do what it was intended to do.  I am just even more excited to be obedient and follow God's voice!

Look for God in all things. I am more than grateful for His love that reigns supreme in mine and my family's life and I pray that I can share that same love with others!

My encouragement to you:

Hang in there! Don't let the meaningless attacks of the enemy knock you off course. Keep your eye on the prize and maintain Thy Will Be Done.

Greater is still coming!!

Remember Where You Were When...

Have you ever been going about you normal day when all of a sudden, something happens to remind you of a place you were emotionally, mentally and maybe even physically in the past? I know sometimes, I can hear an old song on the radio and can recall where I was and who I was around when I would listen to that certain song (most of the time it would be a secular song). Recently though, I came across a very special song that immediately brought me to tears.

The Song Greater Is Coming -Jekalyn Carr was a song that marked a significant moment for me. I heard it for the very first time the day after the most devastating heartbreak I had ever experienced. I was hurt by the person but I also knew that I would not always feel that hurt. I heard this song by Jekayln Carr and it really ministered to me in my pain at that time. I listened to it over and over, sang it out of a heart of expectation while trusting that, just like any other heartbreak I had gone through, God was going to bring me out of this one as well but in a much greater way with way more than I could ever imagine waiting for me on the other side of my breakthrough.

As I was driving home on the freeway a couple of days ago, coming from picking my sweet little one year old baby girl up after spending the weekend with her grandma, the song came across my playlist on Spotify. Tears instantly swelled in my eyes and I could not help but began to worship and thank God right then and there! He showed me, in that moment, that He has been faithful to me and that my expectation came to pass far beyond what I could have put together in my own little mind.

My healing came about a year after the breakup but so much more came as time went on. I was catapulted to another level of worship and I had the opportunity to share in that new level of worship with my, then church family, as I was asked to lead worship. I worshipped out of a broken place. where a lot of people are, which gave God the opportunity and space to get inside of my heart and do what He needed to do. My worship was able to help others worship!

I started this blog and you wouldn't believe the comments and/or personal messages I have gotten, telling me how encouraging my posts have been, how I have helped someone else know that God will do the same for them that He has done for me! This blog was never ever about me. It was never ever to bash the people who hurt, it was all a way for me to be completely transparent and hopefully allow others to follow me to my victory and to give hope to those who are on their journey to victory as well.

My most greatest gift of all, as I listened to the song and cried out and thanked God, is my beautiful family! I know I have mentioned them before but hearing that song, going all the way back to that bedroom in my parent's house where I sat on my knees alone, with my head buried in the mattress, screaming crying at the top of my lungs from a place so hurt I didn't want to smile because I thought that would be so fake of me since I was not happy. To now realize how God healed me completely and gave me way more than what I thought I lost! I could shout right now but it's 3:40am here and everyone in the house is asleep.

A quick run down of God's faithfulness to restore. In 2015, my wonderfully, loving, God-fearing, FAITHFUL husband and I were married in the most intimately perfect setting I could have ever dreamed of. In 2016. God blessed our marriage when He gave us our gorgeous, animated, genius of a baby girl. In 2017, we purchased our first home! We never thought we'd be here so quickly but the blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it. Proverbs 10:22. 

Listen when I tell you that you can trust God because His word does not return to Him void and it will prosper the thing where to He sent it (Isaiah 55:11). No matter where you are in your journey, YOU HAVE THE VICTORY. Look to God and constantly confess this: I WILL NOT be in this same place next year. MY GREATER IS COMING!

I am so grateful God reminded me of where I was when I first heard Greater is Coming. It was some of the best worship I have had in a long time!

Happy

Have you ever just felt unlike yourself and you just don't know why? I mean, the feeling just lingers and you try not to allow it to take over but it does. You're more irritable than you have ever been, your attitude is not as pleasant as normal. It's all abnormal but you just can't seem to shake it.

That was me this week. I am sure, that has been at least one of you before also. Sometimes, we take on so much in this world that we fail to recharge ourselves, both physically and most of all, spiritually.When our spirit is not properly cared for and nurtured, it can tend to get out of wack, making our everyday life do the same. At least I know this to be true of those whose spirits are connected to the Most High God anyway. We have to replenish and refresh ourselves in Him or we are no good. We are made in his image and His likeness. If all we are doing is worrying about and going about taking care of things that don't have much to do with Him, we can sometimes tend to lose touch, losing touch with who we truly are.

One of the ways I get back to a place of peace, calm, happiness, joy, and just me again is by worship. Worship puts back in order my unbalanced life! We have to remember what it is that brings us back to that place. The place where we can feel a sense of relief and truly be ourselves again. For you it could be reading your bible or a spiritual book. It could be listening to a sermon by your pastor or favorite preacher. It could be going into the church building and sitting under the word being spoken. It could be praying. Everyone is different and you have to know what draws you back in.

My heart was created to worship. I know for a fact that my life is nothing without worship. I cannot function properly if my worship life is lacking. Personally, I sometimes can get so caught up in everything else going on in my world that I fail to realize that I have neglect worship time with my first love, my Lord and Savior, my Jesus! Yes, corporate worship is wonderful and a good way to get into worship. For me, personal worship, right in the comfort of my own home, is even more powerful. There is nothing like an encounter with God in the place where you lay your head at night. It fills your home with a supernatural peace and a fragrance of praise.

I was reminded of that this week and what a wonderful reminder it was! My heart was able to rejoice in who He is to me and that's it. Nothing else. Not what He's done for me naturally, what he can do, or what I know Him to do but the simple fact that He loves me and His life saved my life! There is a complete joy in  knowing how much God loves you and that He will never ever stop! I am grateful for the opportunity to enter into worship on a personal level and be recharged in my spirit as well as brought back to who and who's I truly am.

Worship makes me happy. What is it that makes you happy? I pray that God reveals to you what it is you need to do to get back to that place of peace and security in Him and when He does, I pray you never forget how to get there again and again. Many well wishes to you, reader. Continue to look forward to your Greater!

From Faith to Fruition

Happy 2017!!!

I am little over a month late but, better late than never, right? What a great year it has started out to be! So far, for me, it has not only been a year of major blessings but also a year of reflection.

I started this blog approximately four years ago in 2013. At the time, I was broken, in pain, and holding on to my faith that the way I was feeling at that time would not be the way I would feel a year later. I trusted God through my process of healing and restoration and I shared my journey publicly in hopes of helping someone else who may have been going through something similar.

If I had to say, I would call my devastation of 2013 the lowest I had ever been in my entire 31 years of life (at the time, 27 years). I was determined to make it out victoriously and I just knew God had much greater plans in store for me. My daily blog submissions gave my readers a clear look into my real life emotions, struggles, revelations and victories. I held on to my faith that although I had just experienced such a crushing blow, God had so much greater in store for me!

I just want to encourage somebody, anybody, that is currently going through a healing process. It is not easy. You will have some bad days and that's okay. Those are the days you can really demand God to show up for you and He will! Stick with the process. If it helps, write down what emotions you are experiencing, what you are doing to help yourself, and where you see yourself a year from today!

Keep believing that your greater is coming! Hold on to God's promise to give you a future and a hope. Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is going to work together for your good as long as you don't grow weary and give up the fight, Trust God in all that you do! He will never ever fail you! I am a witness!! Soon you will see the fruit of your faith. You will see the evidence of the positive things you spoke over your life in your darkest moments. Keep claiming your greater because soon you and everyone around you will begin to see your life go from faith to fruition!! Press on!

As a living testimony, I want to share with you how God has stayed true to his promise to me and how my very own faith has transferred over into fruition. Below is a photo of my family. My faithful, God-fearing, hardworking, loving husband and my sweet angel of a baby girl. God has definitely been faithful and has blessed me with much greater than I had even expected! If He did it for me, He will surely do it for you! Keep the faith!

From my family to yours...GREATER IS COMING!!