Victim of Emotions

I'm back again. This time on another serious note.

As you know, yesterday I wrote of reaping what you sow, making sure your heart is ready, and giving good things so that you can get good things in return. I talked about being hurt and feeling like my heart was going through reparations once again.

Today, after my emotions settled, and I was able to communicate and listen more effectively; I had the opportunity to understand what was really said and communicated to me. It was not the way I saw it and things were actually reconciled between my friend and I. Things were cleared up and now we're better than we were before.

With that being said, I was told twice today that I rely on my emotions. I react off of emotion and I react right away. And you know what, both times, they were right. A lot of us, especially women, allow our emotions to control our actions and decisions. It's something that can be very harmful and can cloud our minds, causing us to do something erratic to make ourselves feel better. That's no way to be at all. In fact, it makes me feel a little bipolar.

If only we can just stop, refrain from acting, and allow our emotions to settle before making a decision or saying words that cannot be taken back. Your emotions don't always have to be low either. You can be on high emotions and still make an irrational decision.

I am learning all of this as I go and I hope my learning can help you. My solution: keep quiet and allow my emotions to settle a couple of days before I react. I'm probably late in learning this little piece of wisdom but at least I am recognizing it and I can begin to practice now in my singleness so that I can be a master by the time marriage is mine ;). 

GREATER IS COMING and I want to make sure I'm ready to handle it properly. What are you learning now to prepare you for your future?? In all your getting, get wisdom and understanding! Proverbs 4:7 (paraphrased).

Reaping What You Sow

I come to you today, not in the happiest mood.

I just wanted to share with you, my readers, where I have found myself today in my journey from the horrific heartbreak I experienced last year.

Yes, God has been amazing in healing my emotions, giving me a new look on life, and helping me with such a wonderful new beginning. I have made wonderful new friends and have just really been enjoying my single life.

But today, I have a confession. During that time, I had also been intrigued by a young man who poured out such a beautiful love for me. He was everything that I thought I'd ever wanted, emotionally and spiritually. Not to mention he was very, very handsome. Coming out of such a major break up, I just wasn't sure how wise it was to latch on so quickly to someone new. So, I decided to keep him as my friend, sometimes pulling him closer then pushing him away due to my own unfinished process of healing and just not being sure, not to mention he lives in a whole other state.

This has gone on for about a year until about a month ago, when I felt like I was finally ready and I realized I need him. I decided to let go of all of my inhibitions and allow my heart to become involved with planning for a future with him and planned on moving to where he is. I did this only to find out it was too late. He had become emotionally involved with someone else. He no longer wants what he thought he wanted with me. I hurt him too many times with the pushing and pulling.

I can say that I am hurt by his decision to tell me this now after going on for about month, making me believe that we were going to work towards being together. It's actually an exact repeat of a heartbreak I had at 22 years old. Then, I was in a place of  being unsure and the guy wanted me. I pushed and pulled until I felt ready and he strung me along for about a month before I found out he was actually dating another woman.

I know people always say to me that I don't deserve to be hurt. I don't believe I do. I do believe that I have been reaping what I sow. What I have learned is if I am not ready, it is not fair to me to subject anyone else to my indecisiveness. I need allow God to do everything He needs to do inside my heart, mind, and emotions to make me a complete individual so that I am not a broken individual that will end up breaking someone else.

I am sharing all of this to say, sometimes, we do cause our own pain. We have to listen to God and be led by Him before putting our hearts into anything it's not ready for. We'll only end up hurting others as well as ourselves in the end. Don't sow anything unless you are ready to reap the benefits and/or the consequences of it. You get what you give. Be in a place where you can give good things. Have a complete heart so that you can reap good things. Let God be your guide.

I am continuing to pray that God help me to be wiser in the area of my heart. I continue to pray that He complete His work in me. I continue to hold on to the fact that GREATER IS COMING.

I pray you all learn from my mistakes and experiences and that God continue to comfort you with His love. I ask that you keep me in your prayers also as I once again go through the repair of my heart . It's not major but it still hurts. I also pray for his heart and his happiness.

I send my love to you.

Thank you

Keya

Where Does Your Value Come From?

October 5, 2014

I come to you writing out of a place of revelation. I must confess that I have allowed someone to come between my place of being "lonely" because I did not like the feeling. I mentioned in a previous post about "fillers" guys that I had as friends who would sort of pacify my loneliness until a new boyfriend came along. Without even realizing it, I believe I may have done this once again. Except this guy is different. I actually love him but, I just don't believe the timing is right at the moment and sometimes that can happen. I did not allow myself to complete the process of being totally man free and completely dependent on God. One month I was alone but then he came along. Realizing my mistake, I had to end what we have for the moment to allow God to finish the work.

As you all know, I am very transparent so I let you all up in my business. It's only been a few days, almost a week. I feel the pain of not being able to talk to my friend when I want to. I have cried a little here and there, asking God why can't I have everything this man is offering to me right now? Asking God why is it that I have to see it in front of me but wait? As I was praying the other night, I asked God why it's so hard for me to stay away from guys all together. Some of my friends may say, I tend to always have some guy in my life. Maybe not int he capacity of a significant other all of the time but there is always someone.

As I spoke to God to gain understanding as to why this is, God revealed to me that I look to them to show me my worth. Mmmm! I was shocked! I thought I knew my worth and I thought I looked to God for it. God showed me that I love getting the gifts, attention, flowers, etc. from guys because they make me feel valuable. I thought it was just because I enjoy gifts from anyone. Who doesn't enjoy being showered? My love language is receiving gifts. What God showed me was deeper than a "love language". He showed me that I had begun to depend on my male friend to show me my worth. To make me feel special, to affirm things in me that God wants to be the one to affirm in this season of my life. Isn't it funny how we can be in a place of desperation and look to God for all that we need then a man/woman comes along and begins to show us some attention then it's like we block God from doing what He wants to do and only allow the man to do things for us?

The bible reads in Matthew 7:11..."If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children (or loved ones or significant other), how much more will your Father who is in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" I believe in this season, God desires for me, and maybe you, to look to Him to fill us with everything that we need. No man on earth can heal our broken hearts or spirit of rejection. Only God can give us above all that we could ever ask or think. Only God can show us our worth and just how valuable we are!

It's time to take a look at where we are getting our value from. Man is not the only one who can make me feel special. God said I am fearfully (beautifully) and wonderfully made. He wants to spoil me to no end! So I am going to take this time to really rely on God so that I know how to place my trust and expectation completely in Him because putting it all in a man is robbing God and unfair to that man who is bound to fail.

Where does your value come from? Will you allow it to come from God from now on?

He has much GREATER for you if you just allow Him to give it to you!

Meeting With Tony Gaskins

Hello to you!

So, it has been some time since my last written post. When life gets going, it seems we lose track of some things. This is one thing I don't want to lose track of! Plus, I was able to get some wisdom off of published author, Tony Gaskins, today and he instructed me to start writing again!

If you don't know who Tony Gaskins is, he is a very well known author and has a lot of influence on social media. A couple of popular books he has written are: "What Daddy Never Told His Little Girl" and "Mrs. Right". He also drops wise tidbits about relationships on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube. 

I had the opportunity to learn about the process of writing a book from Mr. Gaskins, up close and personal, today. He provided so much information which has motivated me to go forth and tell my story! I began working on a book at the beginning of this year. I was so excited about sharing my story that I feel so many people need to hear to know they are not alone. Today, the fire was rekindled! I am so enthused and ready to put the steps that Mr. Gaskins provided into action!

God has been doing so many amazing things over this year.  A year that the devil meant for disaster,  God has been blessing me with so many great things! If you didn't believe me when I said GREATER IS COMING, I hope you believe me now! I am being placed in so many different places that are providing so many new opportunities and it all has to do with me trusting that God had so much greater for me in the midst of my storm, heartache,  and pain! I knew it wouldn't last forever.

I am in a new, beautiful city, I have new opportunities at my job, I have made wonderful new friends, I have written and professionally recorded two songs, and I am living a full and exciting life! God loves me so much, He gave me double than what I had ever asked for! And I KNOW He will do the exact same for you! For God is no respector of persons. He does not have favorites. His grace is sufficient for ALL who love Him. As a child of God, you are privy to the same blessings I am.

So I want to tell you now as I have told you before...GREATER IS COMING! Keep following me, I will help lead you to it! Be on the lookout for my book! I have a story to tell and I know it will bless you!

Until next time. ..

Sending my love to you!

Keya

Victorious Demo

http://soundcloud.com/missvictory/keya-demo

Victorious

Hey there!

It has been some time and I feel like I am always apologizing for not writing. I just wanted to share with you all something that I have been working on. I have continued to write, just in a different form. I have been writing songs and I would like you all to check out my first Demo record called Victorious! You can check it out on Sound Cloud at soundcloud.com/missvictory. I hope to inspire you through my words once again, only this time, my words are in combination with a beat! Go now and check it out!

Worth The Wait: Waiting for Yourself

Happy Holiday to you all today! I want to take the time to say thank you to all of our soldiers who go out and risk their lives in the fight for our freedom. You efforts are not overlooked!

Today, I want to write about waiting. Waiting can be difficult at times, especially if it is something that you really want. It can be hard to be patient until you are able to have that which you have been waiting for. I want to talk about waiting for your mate, the person God has chosen specifically for you, to come into your life and connect to you in marriage.

I was talking to my godmother the other day and I explained to her this six month journey I have decided to take part in with a group of single women at my church. The journey consists of six months with Jesus and refraining from dating, talking to, texting, social media messaging, video chatting, or hanging out with men whom I am interested in or who may be interested in me. Now, to many this six month "man fast" may seem challenging, and I know I will have some tough days because I am one who likes attention and some guys know how to give me just the right kind and the right amount that I desire. So on those days that I long for the companionship of the opposite sex, I know I will have to pray hard that God help me not contact somebody to fill that void. It's a time for me to allow Jesus to fill every void that I need filled.

Anyhow, as my godmother and I spoke, she told me how excited she was that I decided to take this journey and she said to me, "You're worth the wait". Now, this has been said to me many times before but yesterday, I began to understand the statement differently. I do believe that I am worth the wait. I am confident in the fact that I am a great catch. I am a sweet, caring, loving woman. I am able to provide for myself and don't need a man to take care of me but I am willing to allow him to be a man and provide like a man should, etc. So, in my opinion, I am worth any man waiting for me.

As I began to think a little deeper into the statement, "You're worth the wait", I began to ask myself, am I worth waiting for myself? A lot of the times, we want things right now. Society is such a microwave culture. I thought more and I realized, I have never really allowed MYSELF to wait. I have never really allowed myself to wait on the Lord. That's the real "wait". I find myself marrying (not in a literal sense) every single man who may be a Christian in my head. Seeing how my first name would sound with his last name; immediately putting him in the category of potential mate. I realize when I do that, I put a certain amount of expectation on the relationship that more than likely should not be there. I have jumped the gun on more than one occasion with guys I probably should have only just be friends with in the first place. I got their feelings entangled when after a little while because of my own emotional actions, mine would disappear because it was all superficial. It was something I made up in my mind too soon because of how it made me feel at the time and I did not wait on God to unfold the relationship into it's true purpose.

It's not my job to pick the next guy I see, whom I feel as though may have the traits that I desire in a man, as my future husband. It's my job to wait on God to reveal the purpose of each relationship with anyone I encounter. I have never been without a guy in my life since I was old enough to start talking to/dating guys. The relationships were not all sexual but there was always some male companion around that I could call and talk to that could fill the void I had for the male companionship. I have never really allowed myself to wait.

Therefore, after experiencing this revelation, I have decided to really allow myself to wait on God, seek Him for all the things that he would have me to do during these next six months and ask that my thinking be transformed so that I no longer look at every single man I come in contact with as my potential husband. I want God to take the reigns and allow me to be carefree so that when it happens, it happens because God made it happen and not because Keya manipulated it in her way to happen. One of my male friends told me that it's okay to just be friends with the opposite sex and not think about anything further than that. When you come in with just one mindset, you block out so many other things. Your friend could have another friend that you are supposed to meet and maybe marry but your mind is so stuck on a relationship with the person that is supposed to be your friend, you miss out on your real blessing! That right there is some truth!

I don't want a superficial love, or something that I created. I want everything that God created! I want it to be real, pure, and free of distortion. I want it to be what God has brought together through obedience and truly trusting and relying on Him and Him alone. So, I am worth the wait, my wait. I am worth ME waiting on God to do what he needs to do in order to set me in the right place for the man that He has created specifically for me. Now the question is, are you worth your wait? The old saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait". I believe GREATER things are coming! Wait on Him!

Happy Waiting!

Keya

For The Inquiring Guy: My Ideal Mate

Good day to you!

I'm feeling all personal and descriptive today so I thought I'd share my thoughts on my ideal mate, both physical and spiritual traits.

I know we all have our preferences whether we think we do or not. There are some physical traits you're just automatically attracted to right from the beginning. I'd say the first thing I look at is a guys physical appearance. A clean, shaved face and a crisp hair cut is always an eye-catcher. For me, I pay attention to hands also. Nice, clean hands with clean nails is very attractive. Bitten down nails are not hot at all!

I like a tall guy, from medium to semi - large build. It's nice to have a man to literally look up to. It's also nice to have someone to cuddle up against when I'm cold. Six packs are great but I'm also not opposed to a little belly to lay on and cuddle with. I'm not a small girl, I'm not gigantic either but I'd rather feel smaller than I am while cuddling with a guy because he covers me securely than feel like I'm going to smother him to death lol.

I prefer a confident man. Someone who is completely secure in their whole self, physically, mentally, and spiritually. When a man knows who he is, knows he's attractive and is not swayed by what others may think of him... has his own vibe a.k.a. swag, that is extremely attractive. I like a well dressed man also.
A man who has ambition, clear direction, and is in a position to work towards his dream is attractive also. I have myself pretty together in my eyes. Good job, self sufficient, handling my business, and treating myself well. If you are unable to treat me the same or better than I treat me then you probably shouldn't try to pursue me. I am no gold digger of course but I do like to be stunned wined and dined :). A man that pursues me should be bringing the same, if not more to the table.

Hmmm.... this appears to be getting a little lengthy and all I've discussed so far are my superficial desires. In my opinion, not all superficial desires are bad. I want to be attracted to the man I'm with and of course one way is to be physically attracted. That is a must in older to enjoy physical intimacy. So, let's leave this post here for now. I will get to spiritual desires next post. Until then, think on these things! ;^)

See ya!

Starting Over: Scary but Exciting!

Hello All


Today I want to talk about starting over. In order to start something over you first have to stop the old way of doing something else. At this time in my life, starting over is a common theme. Since the beginning of this blog experience, my life has been in constant transition. I ended one thing and have begun many new things. It is actually a very humbling experience.


Let's be honest though, the ending some things is never easy. You become so accustomed to one way of things or living your life that when you have to change, it's uncomfortable. The bright side of starting over is that things are fresh and new. You have a blank canvas. You can make this new experience whatever you want to make it!


The thoughts of starting over came when I began Discipleship classes this past Sunday at a new church I recently decided to join. I was a member of my previous church for 22 years, since the tender age of 6. So, coming from a place where everyone knows who you are even if you don't know them, to a place where people have no idea who you are is very humbling, a little scary but exciting at the same time. I can remember graduating high school and getting ready to go away to college, it was scary but I was ready for new experiences and to create new memories!


Same with this new job that I started in January. I left my previous office of three years, and headed to a completely new city and new office. Scary but exciting! As I think about it, life is all about new beginnings, starting over, learning new things and new behaviors. Life is continually moving and you should continually be in a humble state, embracing good change and letting go of old things that no longer serve you.


Change can be challenging, I know this firsthand. Redirecting an old/bad habit or getting rid of it completely can be hard and uncomfortable but it will only make you better than what you were before, as long as it is for good. It adds to you! So embrace your new beginnings. Live each day just as it is, A NEW day! Look forward to new experiences, new adventures, a new look on your entire life! Leave the past just where it is, in the past and never look back!


I'm grateful for all of the new starts I have experienced and I look forward to the many more which are to come! GREATER IS COMING! Everyday, take ahold of your greater! Everyday, enjoy new experiences, be open to starting new things. It's okay to be scared at first but don't let fear overtake you. Embrace the excitement of it all!!


Is it time for you to start over? Go for it! Great things await you!!


Love you!


Keya

Why Do You Really Want To Get Married?

Hey!

So my mind has been geared towards relationships lately. Mostly because the last few church sermons I have heard have been about "Unlocking Relationships". I am learning much about my friendships and intimate relationships. Really looking deeper into what a true, genuine relationship entails can help you begin to minimize your circle, protect your heart, and really see how someone is or is not adding to you.

Anyhow, that's not what I want to talk about in this post today. Lately, I have been pondering the idea of marriage. Not that I am about to be married or anything. I have just been thinking about the reasons people want to get married, or should I say the reasons I want to get married?

Disclaimer: I am a woman so this is only from a woman's perspective.

While talking with a friend one day, we spoke about why the engagement ring is so important to women, whether it be the future bride or her friends who see the ring. I tried to explain that it's not so much that there is a great importance placed on the ring but it does represent how hard a man is willing to work or how much he wants to show her that she is worth more than anything in the world to him. That, to some women, is what the ring represents. A marriage should not be based on a ring though.

As I thought about it more, I realized that the only thing I have thought about when it comes to being married has been how special the engagement might be, what type of ring would he choose for me, how beautiful the wedding will be, how much fun we'd have at the wedding reception, and where we would go on a honeymoon. The thoughts would not go pass all of the fun, beautiful things. I began to think, I am more excited about the wedding and the celebration of marriage; failing to look further into what a marriage will actually entail.

After the fun at the wedding, reception, and honeymoon I have to live with this person every single day. I have to submit to this man, who will be the head of my life now. He and God are my leaders. I am no longer making decisions about just me. I have to consider this man in every decision that I make. I have to share my life with this other human being! I will have to learn to compromise on things, I will have to learn to say no to somethings I did as a single person. My respect and honor goes to him. I have to include him in my plans!
It works both ways for man and woman when you get married. All the things I just mentioned I'd have to do for him, he'd also have to do for me.

Now this is something that needs clear and serious thought. Marriage is for a lifetime. It is not just for that one fun night that you share with your friends and family at the wedding. It is a major life decision. You are committing to meet the needs of your spouse until the day you die! It's not going to be just about you anymore, EVER. Divorce should never ever be an option when you are going into a marriage. You two will become a team and will have to work through all of the bad days to enjoy multiple good days together. You are forever joined to this person under God. You make God a promise, to protect, honor, and cherish this gift (marriage) He has given you.

So, thinking about all of the things that come with being married, I have to ask myself; Do I really want to get married? Or do I really want to have a wedding and a party? I think many people have been so focused on the latter that when all the glitz and glamour goes away, they are clueless in the marriage and want out. People focus so much on the joy of getting engaged, showing off their ring, taking engagement photos, wedding photos, dancing at the reception; that they never have time to really ponder what comes after the wedding.

If you're a single person and hoping and praying for a husband or a wife, think deeper as to why you want to be married. Is it because all of your peers are getting married and having children? Trust me, the grass really does always look greener on the other side. Single people want marriage and family, while married people wish they would have waited a little while longer and could be single again to accomplish some things they hadn't gotten a chance to.

So my suggestion would be to really think about the reasons you are so looking forward to marriage. Then think about everything that marriage will entail and ask yourself, are you really ready for all of that? Enjoy your single-hood while you have the chance! Do everything you have ever dreamed, or at least attempt to do it. When you get married, your life is no longer your own. It's not when you're single either, because if you are saved, it belongs to God but you still have to only worry about you. Make right now the best time of your life, then that way, marriage can be even better!

Your GREATER IS COMING, enjoy every step of your journey!!!

Love you!

Keya

Is He/She The One?

Hello,


So my thoughts for these last couple of days have been geared toward relationships. I have been seeing different couples get engaged and we're coming up on wedding season! It's all so very exciting. I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about relationships. He asked, what if a guy is saving up for a ring for his girl secretly but she gets impatient and decides to leave him because she feels he is taking too long to ask her? This sparked some great conversation.


It is my opinion, and mine alone, that if a man and a woman are deciding to embark on a relationship they should already have the goal of marriage in mind. I think that the two adults should, in the beginning of the relation, have an understanding of where things are going and agree on the course of the relationship together.




I strongly believe in premarital counseling. I understand most couples begin attending premarital counseling once they are engaged. In my opinion, premarital counseling is a good resources to help a couple learn each other and to come to know if they should be married. I think it would be a waste of time and money for the couple to wait until they are finally engaged and go to premarital counseling only to find out they should not get married to one another.




I prefer to use premarital counseling to find out, from the very beginning, if I should even be dating this person. Should I be investing my time into this person? Are we compatible? Will we make a good team? Can we solve problems together? Can we resolve conflict? These things, to me, are all good questions to ask from the very beginning; not after the man has spent his savings on a ring.


Marriage is a serious step. Dating is also serious. As we grow older, we should not waste our time with meaningless relationships. Each of our relationships should serve a purpose and help grow us. Our dating needs to have a purpose and that purpose should be marriage. Both parties need to agree on that at the very beginning.




Therefore, it is my strong opinion to begin premarital counseling just as soon as you two agree on making your relationship exclusive and significant. That way, if you find out you two just cannot work together, you know before so much money and time has been spent. It's harder to let go the longer you hold on. If the person is serious about you, they will agree to the premarital counseling as well. This is a good way to weed out the fakers. If they agree to go, then they are always making an excuse as to why they have to miss this appointment then that appointment, their not the one. A serious person will want to complete the counseling sessions if that means helping them to find out how to love you and getting them closer to being your husband or wife.




So, that's my two cents on finding out if he or she is the one. You have to take them through a process and be willing to go through the process as well. Marriage is not a joke! It should not be taken lightly. If you believe you found your good thing or your prince charming, take them through the process in order to be sure before putting a ring on it or accepting a ring.




Your GREATER IS COMING, be sure to recognize and find out how to hold on to it!




Love you!


Keya

Your Future is Brighter

Hey There!


As you all may already know, my posts are inspired by my thoughts or my experiences of the past and present. Last night I went to sleep with a song in my head and woke up to it also. It's called "Moving Forward" by Israel Houghton. A lot of people have heard the song. It's very popular. I believe it's also recorded by another gospel artist as well.


Anyhow, we sang the song at church on Sunday and the way Revolution sings it, they include a declaration as sort of another bridge in the song that says this:


My past is the past
My future is brighter
Step by step
I'm moving, I'm moving


That is my favorite part of the song along with the part that repeats, "You make all things new and I will follow you forward". Philippians 3:13-14 reads: Brethren, I do not count myself apprehended; but one thing I d, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Paul is saying he may not have grasped the meaning of his past or understand why some of the things that happened, did happen but he is not going to allow his past to hold him back from moving forward toward his destiny! He's even saying he will forget even the good things that happened, the success that he had. Dwelling on things of the past is not going to help him keep looking ahead to his future.


Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in reminiscing on the good times, the good feelings, the nice memories we have about things, so much we get stuck and tend not to make forward progression. We know that God's plan is to give us a future and a hope. A future much better than where we currently are and where we have been. You have to know this for yourself, declare it, and proclaim it every single day no matter what.


We have to make the decision in ourselves to forget that which is behind us. Yes, it's hard and it's an ongoing process, but you have to be determined to move forward. When Paul says "forgetting those things which are behind", he uses the present tense of the word forget. It's something that has to be done daily. Let God transform you by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1-2). Begin to think on good things, true things. Philippians 4:8: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.


So, remember, your future is brighter. Leave the past exactly where it is...behind you. Focus your eyes, heart, and mind forward. Your GREATER IS COMING! Don't give up on it. Keep moving!!


Love you!


Keya

Fellas!: 10 Tips On How to Impress and Keep a REAL WOMAN

Hey Guys! This one is just for you. I realize sometimes guys need tips on the "how to's" on approaching and being with a woman. You may think you have your game tight but if you are looking for a lifetime woman; a REAL, mature woman, I can share a few tips with you. Of course the MAIN and MOST IMPORTANT thing you need is a REAL RELATIONSHIP with God before you approach any REAL woman. Not one of them gangsta rapper's, "I'd like to give honor to God", relationships. You need to truly be chasing after God and love Him more than you love ANYTHING or ANYONE on this earth.


I will start with the small feats first. Although you may think these things are no big deal, to women they say a lot!


Your approach: The way you look and the way you smell says a lot to a woman.


1. Make sure that you are well-groomed, i.e., fresh cut, fresh shave, neat, clean clothes (the ones that fit, not that extra baggy, saggy, stuff), nice cologne (not the whole bottle though, that makes us sick to the stomach), etc. Us women take time in making sure we are well kept and so should you. It makes you appear well put together and organized. Like you have a purpose and you're not just wandering around here aimlessly looking for the next piece of, you know what, to get in your bed. Oh, and REAL WOMEN, are NOT attracted to the marijuana smell. It's revolting! It says that you are lazy, immature, and need to grow up. That may not be the case for you but that is what that smell says.


2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have fresh breath! Stale or bad breath can be an IMMEDIATE turn off! Make sure to have a fresh piece of minty gum or some type of mint in your mouth when you go to talk to a woman. If you have been chewing your piece of gum for an hour, spit it out and put in a brand new piece right before you approach the woman. It may seem simple, but good smelling, minty breath is VERY attractive! Bad, stale breath is offensive. Be courteous enough to make sure she has a pleasant experience when she is speaking with you in close range. It will make her more apt to want to kiss you once you start getting to know each other better. Bad breath will make her not want to talk to you face to face but rather over the phone or by text and if she does talk to you in person, she will keep her distance and a kiss will be the furthest thing from her mind. So, always do a breath check, whether you ask a friend if it smells ok or just be on the safe side and pop in a fresh new piece of gum. NEVER chew the fruity gum. That does not work at all. AND NEVER EVER POP YOUR GUM. That is a bit girly and will make you look a little suspect.


(Number 2 was long but I am telling you, it is VERY important)


3. When you ask for her name, REMEMBER IT. If you have to repeat it over and over in your head so that you don't forget, do that. If you do forget, ask her again. She's a lady. She is not your "Ma". You just met her so she is not your "boo" or "baby". Although it is flattering to be thought of as "sexy" by a man, that's not the only thing we want to be known for. Calling us "sexy" makes a woman think the first thing your thinking of is sex. (As you can see I said it makes a WOMAN feel that way, a girl will probably eat it right up and give you exactly what you want). Women like to be respected and to feel like they matter. Forgetting their name right away and not taking the time to ask again is selfish and disrespectful. Just ask. And if you do remember, it makes a woman feel like you actually care.


4. Be confident but don't be over confident or "cocky". Women like a man who appears to know exactly what he wants and who has faith in himself. Timidity is not attractive at all. If you're going to do something, do it. Although you may be nervous as ever, don't let us see it. Keep yourself together. It exhibits some strength from you and gives a woman a sense of security that you aren't afraid. Makes her feel as though, someday, you will be able to protect her and that she can look to you to be her rock when she needs you to.  When she sees nerves and knows you're scared about this or that, it makes her feel like she's going to have to do the protecting. NO WOMAN wants to have to protect herself and her man all of the time! If that's the case, she may as well stay single. Although, later down the line, once you are closer; sharing a few of your fears with her will bring you closer as a couple but spilling every single fear you have right in the beginning will make her think twice about if you are going to be man enough to take care of her. She will begin to see you as the one she is going have to pick up and cradle in her arms like a baby. She dose NOT want to be your mama.


5. Be masculine. Exhibit your manly side. Although, sensitivity is sweet and it is nice to know that you're not made of complete stone, if you are in your feelings more than she is then you are out of balance. Men are masculine, women are feminine. If you take all of the femininity, what's left for her? DO NOT steal her role as a woman. I am not saying you shouldn't be lovey dovey with your woman, just give her the opportunity to initiate the mushy stuff. Don't be beating her to the punch every single time. It can get a little frustrating for her because it makes her feel like she cannot be the soft, sensual woman that she is because you are! Be the MAN she wants and needs. Speak with authority, love her, and be sensitive to her feelings but don't be all in yours. There needs to be a balance so that you're not stepping too far over into her territory and she's not stepping too far over into yours.


6. Be Honest. NEVER start any relationship with a lie. If you cannot be honest with her, you are not ready for her. She's not the one for you. Trust is earned. You don't have her trust, you'll never have her! Psalm 34:13 reads "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceit". Proverbs12:17 reads, "He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit". Verse 19 reads, "The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment". And verse 22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight".


7. Be Friends. Being able to communicate with the woman you're with is important. If you two build a friendship, it will be much easier to communicate. You build a rapport with one another, you learn one another, and you begin to trust one another. Being friends is a major deal. Being able to laugh together, play together, learn together, and grow together will really set a strong foundation in your relationship. Don't make up in your mind, "I'm her man, she's my woman" and that's it. That's when you get all paranoid, possessive, jealous, etc. That's not hot at all. Proverbs 17:17 reads, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". You two should be so close as friends that you are like family. Not in a weird, incest way but you are growing into the family you will create someday.


8. Be Dependable. Be there when she needs you. If she has to depend on her parents more than she can depend on you. That is a problem! You may not be ready to be the man for her. Make sure you are capable of being there when she calls on you because if she can't depend on you, then who else can she depend on? You don't want her to have to go to outside sources. She needs to be able to have faith in whatever she needs, she can always count on you!


9. Make Her Feel Special. She should have all the confidence in the world that she is YOUR ONE AND ONLY. She should never be made to feel otherwise. You must reassure her that she's all you ever want and need. Not just with words but with action also. She should not be treated the same as any of the other female friends you may have. There should be a clear distinction between the way you treat her and the way you treat other women. She should NEVER feel like she has to share you with ANYONE. She should never have to ask you to change the way you behave with this woman or that woman. She should never have to wonder about your friendship with another woman. She should always be in the know and you should respect her enough to make sure she is always in the know and knows the truth about everything.


10. Love Her. Love is more than just a word or some sweet words you text to her in the morning or throughout the day. Love is an action! The things you do for her, with her in mind, etc., all show that you love her. The people you hang out with, the things you talk about with others when it comes to her are all examples of your love for her. She should NEVER EVER have to wonder about your love for her. She should never have to question your love. Figure out new, innovative ways to show her that you love her every single day. It does not stop when you marry her either. You have to invent ways to profess your undying love for her over and over again until God decides He needs her back up in Heaven.


Ok, I could go on and on but that should be good enough for now. I hope this helps some guy, any guy out there who needs a little help with pursuing the girl of his dreams. Here's one freebie tip: NEVER STOP PURSUING HER. Unless she has made it clear that there is never going to be anything between you two, pursue her even after you put a ring on it. Don't be a stalker though. No really does mean No. If she says no, she wasn't the one. Keep things in prayer also. Pray about who God wants you to pursue.


You have all the power within you to get what you want or who you want, you just have to know how to use it and you need to use it in the right way. Your Good Thing is waiting for you, you just have to find her!


Hope this helps a little.


Keya

Make This Your Confession

Hey There!


I want to share something with you. I know that a lot of us have gone through or may currently be going through something whether it be financial, relational, spiritual, etc. This is a confession I put together for myself a few years back when I was going through something myself. It really helped me get through and it is all from the word of God. I said it every single day until I really began to be confident in my words. It is my pleasure to share it with you. Here it is:


For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in me. But may the God of all grace, who called me to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after I have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle me. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but we war against the powers of darkness, therefore I will humble myself under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt me in due time, casting all my cares upon Him, for He cares for me. I will wait on you Lord and be of good courage so that You can strengthen my heart; as my hope is totally in You. Create in me a clean heart, O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me, do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore me to the joy of Your salvation and uphold me by Your generous Spirit. As I trust in you Lord and lean not on my own understanding, I’ll acknowledge you in all my ways, giving you total authority over the direction of my paths. Then transgressors will know Your ways through me, and sinners will be converted to You. To God be the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.


We all need to remind ourselves of the true word of God sometimes. We all need something to hold on to. Let God excite you with His blessed word. Let the word comfort you. Pray these words, these scriptures, and watch your life began to change. Watch as your heart begins to heal. Watch as God begins to give you such a peace YOU will even be amazed! God is faithful! Remember that!


Don't give up when it gets a little bit harder, when you get down because you can't see how things will work out. Remember that God has a master plan and His glory is going to be revealed in you! GREATER IS COMING...don't lose hope!


Love you!


Keya


P.S. if you would like a copy of where to find the scriptures, comment below. :)

 

 

Yesterday

Good morning to you. It's about 10am where I am. Good day to everyone in different time zones!


I wanted to share a song with you today. It's called 'Yesterday' by Mary Mary. For those of you who don't know, Mary Mary is a gospel singing duo, a couple of sisters who have been very prominent in the gospel arena. Anyhow, there Lyrics are as follows:

I had enough heartache and enough headaches
I've had so many ups and downs
Don't know how much more I can take
See, I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday

Either I'm going to trust you or I may as well walk away
'Cause stressing don't make it better
Don't make it better, no way
See, I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday

Yesterday, oh, yesterday
I decided to put my trust in you
Oh, oh, yesterday, yesterday
I realized that you will bring me through

There ain't nothing too hard for my God, no
Any problems that I have
He's greater, greater than them all
So I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday

Yesterday, oh, yesterday
I decided that I could put my trust in you
Oh, oh, yesterday
I realized that you would bring me through

There ain't nothing too hard for my God, no
Any problems that I have
He's greater than them all
So I decided that I cried my last tears yesterday.

The group has a reality show and this has been one of the songs that they have been singing on their tour during the show this season. One of the sisters is currently dealing with her husband being unfaithful in their marriage, and of course, she is emotionally drained. As I watched the show and listened to them sing the song, I could not help but be reminded of my own situation. The difference with my situation is that God saw the cheater in my guy beforehand and rescued me from the excruciating pain of marrying a man who would eventually humiliate me by having an illegitimate child outside of our marriage. I am more than grateful for God's hand upon my life.

The pain of the situation has greatly subsided, yes, but the last couple of weeks, I found myself thinking about the past. I found myself thinking of the good memories we shared and the good feelings he gave me, then I began to wonder why again. Why would he do this to me? How could he be so cruel and have no remorse? How can he just not care about what we shared for the prior 2 years? Of course as the thoughts began to flow, so did the tears. You know, the battlefield really is in your mind. I realized, because of my thinking, I felt like I was reverting back to where I was almost a year ago; to the very first day of the breakup when my heart hurt the most. I found myself begging God to just help me not to care anymore. I am tired of caring, I am tired of being the one who is hurt while he has moved along happy with his new baby and now family with this woman and her children.

Listening to this song and actually reading the lyrics helped me to realize that I am not trusting the Lord. One line of the song says, "either I'm going to trust you, or I mays as well walk away, cause stressing don't make it better no way". That's absolutely true. My stressing, begging, and crying about it did not help me one bit. Proverbs 3:5 reads: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding. All my why and how questions are me trying to understand. It is our human nature to want to understand but I realize I don't need to understand, I just need to trust! I also need to stay buried in the word of God. Proverbs 16:20 reads: He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he.

Again, I will share with you, that which is one of my favorite scriptures; Jeremiah 29:11 which reads: For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says he Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. God plans for me are peace that surpasses all understanding! Philippians 4:7 reads: And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ. Of course, verse six talks about not worrying but instead telling God everything that we need and want in prayer, supplication, and thanksgiving; then the peace will follow.

So, this song, Yesterday, speaks great volumes! I have literally decided that I cried my last tear yesterday. No more! I will trust God and allow his peace to surpass my understanding of anything. I don't have to have understanding if I have His peace! Understanding is irrelevant. Peace is much more valuable. No more tears, no more wondering and questions. God's plans are great for us! I charge you today to make the decision to have cried your last tear yesterday. Or if you have to let today be your yesterday, tomorrow cry no more.

There is peace for you. There is strength for you. There is hope for you. There is a future for you. And most of all....THERE IS GREATER FOR YOU! Leave the past where it is and look ahead because your GREATER IS COMING!

Love you! *mwah*

Motivate Yourself

Hello Readers,


I do apologize for the long absence in posts. I have been very, very, very busy! Still, that is no excuse for my inconsistencies. With that being said, I should catch you up on what has been going on since my last post. I may have informed you of some of these things before but I just want to be sure I have covered all of my bases.




So, since last year, around this time (it will be a year in May since my disastrous ending of engagement), God has done some pretty amazing things! I mean, doors have been opened in Ministry and in the workforce. God has catapulted me in the leading of Praise and Worship. I have been released spiritually to go forth and lead people in ushering in the presence of God through worship. Now, this may not seem like a big deal to you but it is a major deal to me.


Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to be a Psalmist. A weird fantasy for a child, I know. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, my church had a woman by the name of Diane Palmer as a guest speaker. She ministered and prophesied to people through song. I thought she was so heavenly and wonderful. At that moment, I told God I wanted to do exactly what she does! My mother bought me all of her tapes and a cassette player. I would listen to them all of the time and sing along. God placed a desire of worship in me at a very young age. I was prophesied to by Juanita Bynum when I was maybe around 11or 12. She didn't say much, just "It's on you". I was not sure exactly what "it" was at the time. Then when I was a few years older, my Pastor's wife spoke over me and told me that I would lead many to victory.




Well, the only way I have learned to achieve my own victories was through my pure, unadulterated, open heart worship. Without worship, I would not be able to survive anything the enemy has attempted to tear me down with. Whether it's singing to myself at home, listening to William McDowell or some other worship artist that ministers to my soul, or singing in the choir/congregation at church. My heart was made to worship and that is exactly why the enemy attempts so many attacks on it so much. My worship is for real. It comes directly from my heart. I need to pour my heart out to God so that He can pour Himself into it!




So, with all of that, being able to lead people to God through the avenue that I personally use to get to Him is an honor and a dream of mine! I could not have been more fulfilled by knowing that I was beginning to develop and go forth in the very thing I was created for, and people have been blessed by it! So my lesson from my heartache was that God may remove one thing from you that you loved/thought you loved so much and replace it with something even more wonderful and fulfilling. He will not allow you to be empty and lost. I am so grateful to know that God loves me so much to make sure I am happier than any mortal man could have ever made me! Leading worship is a great responsibility and an honorable privilege and I am so delighted that God chose me!


With regards to the workforce. I have a new, less stressful job! And it happens to be in the city I love!!! God knew my heart. I love to help kids and families but the stress of my previous position had begun to weigh on me so heavy that I was actually considering quitting with nothing set up to fall back on. I was ready to get out. When I returned from my month off last June, I knew it was time to go! Let me tell you how awesome God is! When you call on Him for help, He will come just when you need Him!




So, after returning back to work, there was a chance to volunteer for a work project that would remove my caseload and allow me to focus solely on the project. I would not have to go into people's homes anymore for approximately 6 months, when the project ended. Of course I volunteered but I was not chosen. I did not give up hope. I knew how tired I was and I knew God was not going to make me stay in that stressful position for long. In the mean time, I was applying for other, less stressful, position within my state trying to get an interview somewhere. I was interviewed in August of 2013 for a position that would take me out of the field and place me in an office. A much safer and way less stressful position. I did not hear anything for weeks and I began to get a little restless...BUT GOD.




While I waited on a call back from my interview, another opportunity was opened to volunteer for that same work project. The agency needed more volunteers to go outside of their current offices into different ones. Of course, in hopes of getting me off of cases, I volunteered.  Still believing God was going to do something for me. He did! I was offered a volunteer position in a different county which actually happened to be closer to my parents' house, where I was living temporarily, than my actual permanent office. It worked out wonderfully! Although I was still waiting on the call from that permanent position I had interviewed for, I was able to be freed of the stress of my current position for a while, until that door opened! You ever hear the saying, "until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway"? Well that project was my hallway! I praised Him for that position with my belief still high that the job I interviewed for was mine!




After accepting that volunteer position, I received an invitation to interview for that other position a second time. I didn't mind. I went through with the interview in September and patiently waited for a response. I never received a yes or no for months. Finally, in December, I was asked to interview again! Third time's a charm, right? I interviewed a third time. Now while all of this was going on, some changes came about with that volunteer position. Because the deadline for the launch of the new application had been extended to an unknown date, permanent offices had begun pulling their workers back to caseloads when they needed them. I started to worry that I would have to go back to the stress. I wasn't sure what would happen. I continued to pray and still believed that God was not going to allow me to go back. People were going back to cases 2 by 2.




Approximately 2 weeks before my name was up to be chosen to be sent back, guess who called?! The position I had interviewed for 3 times! They offered me the position a couple of weeks before Christmas! Can you say the best Christmas gift I received in a while!!! God may not come when you want Him but He is ALWAYS right on time! I began working my new position in mid January of 2014 in my new, wonderful city that I love so much! I was blessed enough to have a wonderful friend who allowed me to stay with her and help out with her bills for a few months until I found my own place. As of 3/13/14, I received the keys to my new home and I am now a resident of my wonderful, new city!




Which brings me to my reason for not posting in a long while. I have been busy trying to get settled in. Moving to a new city is very overwhelming. My family lives some time away, not very far, but far enough. I have been trying to motivate myself to do the things I set out to do. I work new hours so I have most of my day to me. My plan for this year is to write my first book. I have not made much hedge way on it as of yet; I have an introduction and maybe page one. With all of the hustle and bustle of moving, plus work, plus buying new things for my new place, plus figuring out a budget, plus trying to find a place of worship to connect with, I have been so exhausted. I feel very bad about my lack of motivation and I almost feel like I am wasting time. I have let 3 whole months of the year go by. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I am in a wedding in May; so I have to get the dress, have it altered, get some dyeable shoes, have them died the color of the dress if I can ever get a swatch of the dress which I have requested be mailed twice and have not gotten it. There is just so much going on at one time!




I decided to force myself to do what I need to do. I have to pursue my passion because I won't progress if I don't. The good news is, I have found a wonderful church that I am planning to connect and become involved with. I am very excited about that! My life means nothing if I cannot serve in some type of way in Ministry. I have to contribute to the body! So that is one step. One accomplishment. I have unpacked and put away most all of my things; well, what I was able to get here on my own. The rest of my things at my parents' place is another story.


Have you ever been tired of feeling like every minute that passes is a wasted minute because you're not doing what you set out to do? We have to motivate ourselves! We have to carve out specific time for what it is we NEED to do, not just what we want to do. This post is the beginning for me. I realize I have encouraged so many of you with my writing, whether you voice it to me or you have just been reading through every one of the post. I am not living for myself. I know that. I would like you to accept my sincere apology. We are still on this journey together! I have not abandoned you! I am still running the race with you and we are all headed towards that which is Greater!


I hope this post gives you even a small glimmer of hope that if you continue to believe that God will not leave in the condition/position you are in for long. Keep believing, keep confessing, and keep holding on because you know what??? 




GREATER IS COMING!


I love you all!


Keya <3

See It For What It Really Is

Hello Beautiful People!




I hope all of you are doing well on this 6th day of February! This year has been blessed for me so far! Doors are beginning to open already. It's amazing. I pray that this year will treat you way better than the last!


I want to talk about perception today. A lot of times, we can see the way things are going before they actually go that way. We can label things, not out of judgment, but because we know ourselves, our wants, our desires, and our standards. We can pretty much categorize people or relationships before we ever go another step forward. I think this is a great skill to have! By knowing up front the way something will go, we can save ourselves a lot of unnecessary wasted time and heartache.


For example, you meet a guy/girl and all you see is friendship in your future. You may even tell the person that is all you see. You two may have a blast hanging out, spending time with one another, etc. but relationally, it's never really meant to go any further than that. Then, because of the great feelings you get when you're with that person, you begin to think you are supposed to be in a romantic relationship. You two decide to enter into a romantic relationship, involving yourselves at some of the most intimate levels. Things appear to be going wonderfully then something tragic happens that destroys the relationship and the friendship goes down with it. You feel horrible, then you remember, before it all started all you saw was friendship from the start.


I've been there and I am sure I am not the only one who has. Because we allow feeling to get in the way and control our decisions, we lose great friends who we probably had the most fun with. It's sad at times. We cause ourselves such great heartache. This is why in my opinion, we need to see and ACCEPT relationships for what they really are. Let friendships be friendships. It can save you so much time and one of the best friendships you could have ever had.


I am grateful for all of the experiences I have been allowed and I continue to grow and learn from everything that I have been through. Accepting relationships for what they really are can be hard but it can also be the best thing you could ever do for yourself and the other person involved. You will be happier and avoid painful experiences. So, whether you are friends with a person or your are in a relationship with a person now; evaluate your relationship. It can save you  and that other person a lot of trouble, time and most of all...you can save a friendship!


No matter what happens, always know....GREATER IS COMING!!!

Repairing, Restoring, and Receiving! ALL YEAR!

Welcome to 2014!!!! You made it!




Even though you may have thought 2013 had beat you up so bad that there was no point in going on, you made it! You have a new chance at a fresh start. I know, any day can be a fresh start, but there is something psychologically special about starting a New Year. You can say things now like, I have not gotten my heart broken all year, or I have not had a drink of alcohol all year, or I have not sinned in fornication all year, or I have been working out all year!! And now, it's up to you to keep whatever your "all year" statement is true through to 2015! It's like you have brand new clean slate! Everything that happened in 2013 that was not for your benefit is left back there!


I, for one, am very excited about the great manifestations that I see coming this year! God is up to something amazing because He helped me end 2013 so strong! I have been getting the notion that 2014 is the year God is repairing some things that have been broken WAY too long! He is mending relationships, restoring families, and healing wounds. He is going to be pouring out His Spirit in ways never imagined before and all we have to do is receive!


It is time to look forward, toward the Greater things ahead and allow God to reign down on us His magnificent power and anointing. I challenge you to take full advantage of the blessings and gifts God is pouring out this year! I am believing that due to the Repairing, Restoring and Receiving, this year is going to be a breakout year for so many of us! It will be a matte of us accepting His marvelous grace and allowing our gifts to make room for us.


The work has already begun! 2014 is YOUR YEAR! 2014 is MY YEAR! We can say things like, God has been using me ALL YEAR, God has been repairing broken areas in my life ALL  YEAR, God has been restoring relationships in my family ALL YEAR, and I have been receiving in abundance ALL YEAR! Walk in His grace all year! Be a living vessel for Him all year! Manifest His glory all year!


Greater is here! Take it! And walk in it ALL YEAR!!!