Hey!
So my mind has been geared towards relationships lately. Mostly because the last few church sermons I have heard have been about "Unlocking Relationships". I am learning much about my friendships and intimate relationships. Really looking deeper into what a true, genuine relationship entails can help you begin to minimize your circle, protect your heart, and really see how someone is or is not adding to you.
Anyhow, that's not what I want to talk about in this post today. Lately, I have been pondering the idea of marriage. Not that I am about to be married or anything. I have just been thinking about the reasons people want to get married, or should I say the reasons I want to get married?
Disclaimer: I am a woman so this is only from a woman's perspective.
While talking with a friend one day, we spoke about why the engagement ring is so important to women, whether it be the future bride or her friends who see the ring. I tried to explain that it's not so much that there is a great importance placed on the ring but it does represent how hard a man is willing to work or how much he wants to show her that she is worth more than anything in the world to him. That, to some women, is what the ring represents. A marriage should not be based on a ring though.
As I thought about it more, I realized that the only thing I have thought about when it comes to being married has been how special the engagement might be, what type of ring would he choose for me, how beautiful the wedding will be, how much fun we'd have at the wedding reception, and where we would go on a honeymoon. The thoughts would not go pass all of the fun, beautiful things. I began to think, I am more excited about the wedding and the celebration of marriage; failing to look further into what a marriage will actually entail.
After the fun at the wedding, reception, and honeymoon I have to live with this person every single day. I have to submit to this man, who will be the head of my life now. He and God are my leaders. I am no longer making decisions about just me. I have to consider this man in every decision that I make. I have to share my life with this other human being! I will have to learn to compromise on things, I will have to learn to say no to somethings I did as a single person. My respect and honor goes to him. I have to include him in my plans!
It works both ways for man and woman when you get married. All the things I just mentioned I'd have to do for him, he'd also have to do for me.
Now this is something that needs clear and serious thought. Marriage is for a lifetime. It is not just for that one fun night that you share with your friends and family at the wedding. It is a major life decision. You are committing to meet the needs of your spouse until the day you die! It's not going to be just about you anymore, EVER. Divorce should never ever be an option when you are going into a marriage. You two will become a team and will have to work through all of the bad days to enjoy multiple good days together. You are forever joined to this person under God. You make God a promise, to protect, honor, and cherish this gift (marriage) He has given you.
So, thinking about all of the things that come with being married, I have to ask myself; Do I really want to get married? Or do I really want to have a wedding and a party? I think many people have been so focused on the latter that when all the glitz and glamour goes away, they are clueless in the marriage and want out. People focus so much on the joy of getting engaged, showing off their ring, taking engagement photos, wedding photos, dancing at the reception; that they never have time to really ponder what comes after the wedding.
If you're a single person and hoping and praying for a husband or a wife, think deeper as to why you want to be married. Is it because all of your peers are getting married and having children? Trust me, the grass really does always look greener on the other side. Single people want marriage and family, while married people wish they would have waited a little while longer and could be single again to accomplish some things they hadn't gotten a chance to.
So my suggestion would be to really think about the reasons you are so looking forward to marriage. Then think about everything that marriage will entail and ask yourself, are you really ready for all of that? Enjoy your single-hood while you have the chance! Do everything you have ever dreamed, or at least attempt to do it. When you get married, your life is no longer your own. It's not when you're single either, because if you are saved, it belongs to God but you still have to only worry about you. Make right now the best time of your life, then that way, marriage can be even better!
Your GREATER IS COMING, enjoy every step of your journey!!!
Love you!
Keya
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