Hey Guys! This one is just for you. I realize sometimes guys need tips on the "how to's" on approaching and being with a woman. You may think you have your game tight but if you are looking for a lifetime woman; a REAL, mature woman, I can share a few tips with you. Of course the MAIN and MOST IMPORTANT thing you need is a REAL RELATIONSHIP with God before you approach any REAL woman. Not one of them gangsta rapper's, "I'd like to give honor to God", relationships. You need to truly be chasing after God and love Him more than you love ANYTHING or ANYONE on this earth.
I will start with the small feats first. Although you may think these things are no big deal, to women they say a lot!
Your approach: The way you look and the way you smell says a lot to a woman.
1. Make sure that you are well-groomed, i.e., fresh cut, fresh shave, neat, clean clothes (the ones that fit, not that extra baggy, saggy, stuff), nice cologne (not the whole bottle though, that makes us sick to the stomach), etc. Us women take time in making sure we are well kept and so should you. It makes you appear well put together and organized. Like you have a purpose and you're not just wandering around here aimlessly looking for the next piece of, you know what, to get in your bed. Oh, and REAL WOMEN, are NOT attracted to the marijuana smell. It's revolting! It says that you are lazy, immature, and need to grow up. That may not be the case for you but that is what that smell says.
2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have fresh breath! Stale or bad breath can be an IMMEDIATE turn off! Make sure to have a fresh piece of minty gum or some type of mint in your mouth when you go to talk to a woman. If you have been chewing your piece of gum for an hour, spit it out and put in a brand new piece right before you approach the woman. It may seem simple, but good smelling, minty breath is VERY attractive! Bad, stale breath is offensive. Be courteous enough to make sure she has a pleasant experience when she is speaking with you in close range. It will make her more apt to want to kiss you once you start getting to know each other better. Bad breath will make her not want to talk to you face to face but rather over the phone or by text and if she does talk to you in person, she will keep her distance and a kiss will be the furthest thing from her mind. So, always do a breath check, whether you ask a friend if it smells ok or just be on the safe side and pop in a fresh new piece of gum. NEVER chew the fruity gum. That does not work at all. AND NEVER EVER POP YOUR GUM. That is a bit girly and will make you look a little suspect.
(Number 2 was long but I am telling you, it is VERY important)
3. When you ask for her name, REMEMBER IT. If you have to repeat it over and over in your head so that you don't forget, do that. If you do forget, ask her again. She's a lady. She is not your "Ma". You just met her so she is not your "boo" or "baby". Although it is flattering to be thought of as "sexy" by a man, that's not the only thing we want to be known for. Calling us "sexy" makes a woman think the first thing your thinking of is sex. (As you can see I said it makes a WOMAN feel that way, a girl will probably eat it right up and give you exactly what you want). Women like to be respected and to feel like they matter. Forgetting their name right away and not taking the time to ask again is selfish and disrespectful. Just ask. And if you do remember, it makes a woman feel like you actually care.
4. Be confident but don't be over confident or "cocky". Women like a man who appears to know exactly what he wants and who has faith in himself. Timidity is not attractive at all. If you're going to do something, do it. Although you may be nervous as ever, don't let us see it. Keep yourself together. It exhibits some strength from you and gives a woman a sense of security that you aren't afraid. Makes her feel as though, someday, you will be able to protect her and that she can look to you to be her rock when she needs you to. When she sees nerves and knows you're scared about this or that, it makes her feel like she's going to have to do the protecting. NO WOMAN wants to have to protect herself and her man all of the time! If that's the case, she may as well stay single. Although, later down the line, once you are closer; sharing a few of your fears with her will bring you closer as a couple but spilling every single fear you have right in the beginning will make her think twice about if you are going to be man enough to take care of her. She will begin to see you as the one she is going have to pick up and cradle in her arms like a baby. She dose NOT want to be your mama.
5. Be masculine. Exhibit your manly side. Although, sensitivity is sweet and it is nice to know that you're not made of complete stone, if you are in your feelings more than she is then you are out of balance. Men are masculine, women are feminine. If you take all of the femininity, what's left for her? DO NOT steal her role as a woman. I am not saying you shouldn't be lovey dovey with your woman, just give her the opportunity to initiate the mushy stuff. Don't be beating her to the punch every single time. It can get a little frustrating for her because it makes her feel like she cannot be the soft, sensual woman that she is because you are! Be the MAN she wants and needs. Speak with authority, love her, and be sensitive to her feelings but don't be all in yours. There needs to be a balance so that you're not stepping too far over into her territory and she's not stepping too far over into yours.
6. Be Honest. NEVER start any relationship with a lie. If you cannot be honest with her, you are not ready for her. She's not the one for you. Trust is earned. You don't have her trust, you'll never have her! Psalm 34:13 reads "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceit". Proverbs12:17 reads, "He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit". Verse 19 reads, "The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment". And verse 22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight".
7. Be Friends. Being able to communicate with the woman you're with is important. If you two build a friendship, it will be much easier to communicate. You build a rapport with one another, you learn one another, and you begin to trust one another. Being friends is a major deal. Being able to laugh together, play together, learn together, and grow together will really set a strong foundation in your relationship. Don't make up in your mind, "I'm her man, she's my woman" and that's it. That's when you get all paranoid, possessive, jealous, etc. That's not hot at all. Proverbs 17:17 reads, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". You two should be so close as friends that you are like family. Not in a weird, incest way but you are growing into the family you will create someday.
8. Be Dependable. Be there when she needs you. If she has to depend on her parents more than she can depend on you. That is a problem! You may not be ready to be the man for her. Make sure you are capable of being there when she calls on you because if she can't depend on you, then who else can she depend on? You don't want her to have to go to outside sources. She needs to be able to have faith in whatever she needs, she can always count on you!
9. Make Her Feel Special. She should have all the confidence in the world that she is YOUR ONE AND ONLY. She should never be made to feel otherwise. You must reassure her that she's all you ever want and need. Not just with words but with action also. She should not be treated the same as any of the other female friends you may have. There should be a clear distinction between the way you treat her and the way you treat other women. She should NEVER feel like she has to share you with ANYONE. She should never have to ask you to change the way you behave with this woman or that woman. She should never have to wonder about your friendship with another woman. She should always be in the know and you should respect her enough to make sure she is always in the know and knows the truth about everything.
10. Love Her. Love is more than just a word or some sweet words you text to her in the morning or throughout the day. Love is an action! The things you do for her, with her in mind, etc., all show that you love her. The people you hang out with, the things you talk about with others when it comes to her are all examples of your love for her. She should NEVER EVER have to wonder about your love for her. She should never have to question your love. Figure out new, innovative ways to show her that you love her every single day. It does not stop when you marry her either. You have to invent ways to profess your undying love for her over and over again until God decides He needs her back up in Heaven.
Ok, I could go on and on but that should be good enough for now. I hope this helps some guy, any guy out there who needs a little help with pursuing the girl of his dreams. Here's one freebie tip: NEVER STOP PURSUING HER. Unless she has made it clear that there is never going to be anything between you two, pursue her even after you put a ring on it. Don't be a stalker though. No really does mean No. If she says no, she wasn't the one. Keep things in prayer also. Pray about who God wants you to pursue.
You have all the power within you to get what you want or who you want, you just have to know how to use it and you need to use it in the right way. Your Good Thing is waiting for you, you just have to find her!
Hope this helps a little.
Keya
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