Happy Holiday to you all today! I want to take the time to say thank you to all of our soldiers who go out and risk their lives in the fight for our freedom. You efforts are not overlooked!
Today, I want to write about waiting. Waiting can be difficult at times, especially if it is something that you really want. It can be hard to be patient until you are able to have that which you have been waiting for. I want to talk about waiting for your mate, the person God has chosen specifically for you, to come into your life and connect to you in marriage.
I was talking to my godmother the other day and I explained to her this six month journey I have decided to take part in with a group of single women at my church. The journey consists of six months with Jesus and refraining from dating, talking to, texting, social media messaging, video chatting, or hanging out with men whom I am interested in or who may be interested in me. Now, to many this six month "man fast" may seem challenging, and I know I will have some tough days because I am one who likes attention and some guys know how to give me just the right kind and the right amount that I desire. So on those days that I long for the companionship of the opposite sex, I know I will have to pray hard that God help me not contact somebody to fill that void. It's a time for me to allow Jesus to fill every void that I need filled.
Anyhow, as my godmother and I spoke, she told me how excited she was that I decided to take this journey and she said to me, "You're worth the wait". Now, this has been said to me many times before but yesterday, I began to understand the statement differently. I do believe that I am worth the wait. I am confident in the fact that I am a great catch. I am a sweet, caring, loving woman. I am able to provide for myself and don't need a man to take care of me but I am willing to allow him to be a man and provide like a man should, etc. So, in my opinion, I am worth any man waiting for me.
As I began to think a little deeper into the statement, "You're worth the wait", I began to ask myself, am I worth waiting for myself? A lot of the times, we want things right now. Society is such a microwave culture. I thought more and I realized, I have never really allowed MYSELF to wait. I have never really allowed myself to wait on the Lord. That's the real "wait". I find myself marrying (not in a literal sense) every single man who may be a Christian in my head. Seeing how my first name would sound with his last name; immediately putting him in the category of potential mate. I realize when I do that, I put a certain amount of expectation on the relationship that more than likely should not be there. I have jumped the gun on more than one occasion with guys I probably should have only just be friends with in the first place. I got their feelings entangled when after a little while because of my own emotional actions, mine would disappear because it was all superficial. It was something I made up in my mind too soon because of how it made me feel at the time and I did not wait on God to unfold the relationship into it's true purpose.
It's not my job to pick the next guy I see, whom I feel as though may have the traits that I desire in a man, as my future husband. It's my job to wait on God to reveal the purpose of each relationship with anyone I encounter. I have never been without a guy in my life since I was old enough to start talking to/dating guys. The relationships were not all sexual but there was always some male companion around that I could call and talk to that could fill the void I had for the male companionship. I have never really allowed myself to wait.
Therefore, after experiencing this revelation, I have decided to really allow myself to wait on God, seek Him for all the things that he would have me to do during these next six months and ask that my thinking be transformed so that I no longer look at every single man I come in contact with as my potential husband. I want God to take the reigns and allow me to be carefree so that when it happens, it happens because God made it happen and not because Keya manipulated it in her way to happen. One of my male friends told me that it's okay to just be friends with the opposite sex and not think about anything further than that. When you come in with just one mindset, you block out so many other things. Your friend could have another friend that you are supposed to meet and maybe marry but your mind is so stuck on a relationship with the person that is supposed to be your friend, you miss out on your real blessing! That right there is some truth!
I don't want a superficial love, or something that I created. I want everything that God created! I want it to be real, pure, and free of distortion. I want it to be what God has brought together through obedience and truly trusting and relying on Him and Him alone. So, I am worth the wait, my wait. I am worth ME waiting on God to do what he needs to do in order to set me in the right place for the man that He has created specifically for me. Now the question is, are you worth your wait? The old saying goes, "Good things come to those who wait". I believe GREATER things are coming! Wait on Him!
Happy Waiting!
Keya
Monday, May 26, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
For The Inquiring Guy: My Ideal Mate
Good day to you!
I'm feeling all personal and descriptive today so I thought I'd share my thoughts on my ideal mate, both physical and spiritual traits.
I know we all have our preferences whether we think we do or not. There are some physical traits you're just automatically attracted to right from the beginning. I'd say the first thing I look at is a guys physical appearance. A clean, shaved face and a crisp hair cut is always an eye-catcher. For me, I pay attention to hands also. Nice, clean hands with clean nails is very attractive. Bitten down nails are not hot at all!
I like a tall guy, from medium to semi - large build. It's nice to have a man to literally look up to. It's also nice to have someone to cuddle up against when I'm cold. Six packs are great but I'm also not opposed to a little belly to lay on and cuddle with. I'm not a small girl, I'm not gigantic either but I'd rather feel smaller than I am while cuddling with a guy because he covers me securely than feel like I'm going to smother him to death lol.
I prefer a confident man. Someone who is completely secure in their whole self, physically, mentally, and spiritually. When a man knows who he is, knows he's attractive and is not swayed by what others may think of him... has his own vibe a.k.a. swag, that is extremely attractive. I like a well dressed man also.
A man who has ambition, clear direction, and is in a position to work towards his dream is attractive also. I have myself pretty together in my eyes. Good job, self sufficient, handling my business, and treating myself well. If you are unable to treat me the same or better than I treat me then you probably shouldn't try to pursue me. I am no gold digger of course but I do like to be stunned wined and dined :). A man that pursues me should be bringing the same, if not more to the table.
Hmmm.... this appears to be getting a little lengthy and all I've discussed so far are my superficial desires. In my opinion, not all superficial desires are bad. I want to be attracted to the man I'm with and of course one way is to be physically attracted. That is a must in older to enjoy physical intimacy. So, let's leave this post here for now. I will get to spiritual desires next post. Until then, think on these things! ;^)
See ya!
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Starting Over: Scary but Exciting!
Hello All
Today I want to talk about starting over. In order to start something over you first have to stop the old way of doing something else. At this time in my life, starting over is a common theme. Since the beginning of this blog experience, my life has been in constant transition. I ended one thing and have begun many new things. It is actually a very humbling experience.
Let's be honest though, the ending some things is never easy. You become so accustomed to one way of things or living your life that when you have to change, it's uncomfortable. The bright side of starting over is that things are fresh and new. You have a blank canvas. You can make this new experience whatever you want to make it!
The thoughts of starting over came when I began Discipleship classes this past Sunday at a new church I recently decided to join. I was a member of my previous church for 22 years, since the tender age of 6. So, coming from a place where everyone knows who you are even if you don't know them, to a place where people have no idea who you are is very humbling, a little scary but exciting at the same time. I can remember graduating high school and getting ready to go away to college, it was scary but I was ready for new experiences and to create new memories!
Same with this new job that I started in January. I left my previous office of three years, and headed to a completely new city and new office. Scary but exciting! As I think about it, life is all about new beginnings, starting over, learning new things and new behaviors. Life is continually moving and you should continually be in a humble state, embracing good change and letting go of old things that no longer serve you.
Change can be challenging, I know this firsthand. Redirecting an old/bad habit or getting rid of it completely can be hard and uncomfortable but it will only make you better than what you were before, as long as it is for good. It adds to you! So embrace your new beginnings. Live each day just as it is, A NEW day! Look forward to new experiences, new adventures, a new look on your entire life! Leave the past just where it is, in the past and never look back!
I'm grateful for all of the new starts I have experienced and I look forward to the many more which are to come! GREATER IS COMING! Everyday, take ahold of your greater! Everyday, enjoy new experiences, be open to starting new things. It's okay to be scared at first but don't let fear overtake you. Embrace the excitement of it all!!
Is it time for you to start over? Go for it! Great things await you!!
Love you!
Keya
Today I want to talk about starting over. In order to start something over you first have to stop the old way of doing something else. At this time in my life, starting over is a common theme. Since the beginning of this blog experience, my life has been in constant transition. I ended one thing and have begun many new things. It is actually a very humbling experience.
Let's be honest though, the ending some things is never easy. You become so accustomed to one way of things or living your life that when you have to change, it's uncomfortable. The bright side of starting over is that things are fresh and new. You have a blank canvas. You can make this new experience whatever you want to make it!
The thoughts of starting over came when I began Discipleship classes this past Sunday at a new church I recently decided to join. I was a member of my previous church for 22 years, since the tender age of 6. So, coming from a place where everyone knows who you are even if you don't know them, to a place where people have no idea who you are is very humbling, a little scary but exciting at the same time. I can remember graduating high school and getting ready to go away to college, it was scary but I was ready for new experiences and to create new memories!
Same with this new job that I started in January. I left my previous office of three years, and headed to a completely new city and new office. Scary but exciting! As I think about it, life is all about new beginnings, starting over, learning new things and new behaviors. Life is continually moving and you should continually be in a humble state, embracing good change and letting go of old things that no longer serve you.
Change can be challenging, I know this firsthand. Redirecting an old/bad habit or getting rid of it completely can be hard and uncomfortable but it will only make you better than what you were before, as long as it is for good. It adds to you! So embrace your new beginnings. Live each day just as it is, A NEW day! Look forward to new experiences, new adventures, a new look on your entire life! Leave the past just where it is, in the past and never look back!
I'm grateful for all of the new starts I have experienced and I look forward to the many more which are to come! GREATER IS COMING! Everyday, take ahold of your greater! Everyday, enjoy new experiences, be open to starting new things. It's okay to be scared at first but don't let fear overtake you. Embrace the excitement of it all!!
Is it time for you to start over? Go for it! Great things await you!!
Love you!
Keya
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Why Do You Really Want To Get Married?
Hey!
So my mind has been geared towards relationships lately. Mostly because the last few church sermons I have heard have been about "Unlocking Relationships". I am learning much about my friendships and intimate relationships. Really looking deeper into what a true, genuine relationship entails can help you begin to minimize your circle, protect your heart, and really see how someone is or is not adding to you.
Anyhow, that's not what I want to talk about in this post today. Lately, I have been pondering the idea of marriage. Not that I am about to be married or anything. I have just been thinking about the reasons people want to get married, or should I say the reasons I want to get married?
Disclaimer: I am a woman so this is only from a woman's perspective.
While talking with a friend one day, we spoke about why the engagement ring is so important to women, whether it be the future bride or her friends who see the ring. I tried to explain that it's not so much that there is a great importance placed on the ring but it does represent how hard a man is willing to work or how much he wants to show her that she is worth more than anything in the world to him. That, to some women, is what the ring represents. A marriage should not be based on a ring though.
As I thought about it more, I realized that the only thing I have thought about when it comes to being married has been how special the engagement might be, what type of ring would he choose for me, how beautiful the wedding will be, how much fun we'd have at the wedding reception, and where we would go on a honeymoon. The thoughts would not go pass all of the fun, beautiful things. I began to think, I am more excited about the wedding and the celebration of marriage; failing to look further into what a marriage will actually entail.
After the fun at the wedding, reception, and honeymoon I have to live with this person every single day. I have to submit to this man, who will be the head of my life now. He and God are my leaders. I am no longer making decisions about just me. I have to consider this man in every decision that I make. I have to share my life with this other human being! I will have to learn to compromise on things, I will have to learn to say no to somethings I did as a single person. My respect and honor goes to him. I have to include him in my plans!
It works both ways for man and woman when you get married. All the things I just mentioned I'd have to do for him, he'd also have to do for me.
Now this is something that needs clear and serious thought. Marriage is for a lifetime. It is not just for that one fun night that you share with your friends and family at the wedding. It is a major life decision. You are committing to meet the needs of your spouse until the day you die! It's not going to be just about you anymore, EVER. Divorce should never ever be an option when you are going into a marriage. You two will become a team and will have to work through all of the bad days to enjoy multiple good days together. You are forever joined to this person under God. You make God a promise, to protect, honor, and cherish this gift (marriage) He has given you.
So, thinking about all of the things that come with being married, I have to ask myself; Do I really want to get married? Or do I really want to have a wedding and a party? I think many people have been so focused on the latter that when all the glitz and glamour goes away, they are clueless in the marriage and want out. People focus so much on the joy of getting engaged, showing off their ring, taking engagement photos, wedding photos, dancing at the reception; that they never have time to really ponder what comes after the wedding.
If you're a single person and hoping and praying for a husband or a wife, think deeper as to why you want to be married. Is it because all of your peers are getting married and having children? Trust me, the grass really does always look greener on the other side. Single people want marriage and family, while married people wish they would have waited a little while longer and could be single again to accomplish some things they hadn't gotten a chance to.
So my suggestion would be to really think about the reasons you are so looking forward to marriage. Then think about everything that marriage will entail and ask yourself, are you really ready for all of that? Enjoy your single-hood while you have the chance! Do everything you have ever dreamed, or at least attempt to do it. When you get married, your life is no longer your own. It's not when you're single either, because if you are saved, it belongs to God but you still have to only worry about you. Make right now the best time of your life, then that way, marriage can be even better!
Your GREATER IS COMING, enjoy every step of your journey!!!
Love you!
Keya
So my mind has been geared towards relationships lately. Mostly because the last few church sermons I have heard have been about "Unlocking Relationships". I am learning much about my friendships and intimate relationships. Really looking deeper into what a true, genuine relationship entails can help you begin to minimize your circle, protect your heart, and really see how someone is or is not adding to you.
Anyhow, that's not what I want to talk about in this post today. Lately, I have been pondering the idea of marriage. Not that I am about to be married or anything. I have just been thinking about the reasons people want to get married, or should I say the reasons I want to get married?
Disclaimer: I am a woman so this is only from a woman's perspective.
While talking with a friend one day, we spoke about why the engagement ring is so important to women, whether it be the future bride or her friends who see the ring. I tried to explain that it's not so much that there is a great importance placed on the ring but it does represent how hard a man is willing to work or how much he wants to show her that she is worth more than anything in the world to him. That, to some women, is what the ring represents. A marriage should not be based on a ring though.
As I thought about it more, I realized that the only thing I have thought about when it comes to being married has been how special the engagement might be, what type of ring would he choose for me, how beautiful the wedding will be, how much fun we'd have at the wedding reception, and where we would go on a honeymoon. The thoughts would not go pass all of the fun, beautiful things. I began to think, I am more excited about the wedding and the celebration of marriage; failing to look further into what a marriage will actually entail.
After the fun at the wedding, reception, and honeymoon I have to live with this person every single day. I have to submit to this man, who will be the head of my life now. He and God are my leaders. I am no longer making decisions about just me. I have to consider this man in every decision that I make. I have to share my life with this other human being! I will have to learn to compromise on things, I will have to learn to say no to somethings I did as a single person. My respect and honor goes to him. I have to include him in my plans!
It works both ways for man and woman when you get married. All the things I just mentioned I'd have to do for him, he'd also have to do for me.
Now this is something that needs clear and serious thought. Marriage is for a lifetime. It is not just for that one fun night that you share with your friends and family at the wedding. It is a major life decision. You are committing to meet the needs of your spouse until the day you die! It's not going to be just about you anymore, EVER. Divorce should never ever be an option when you are going into a marriage. You two will become a team and will have to work through all of the bad days to enjoy multiple good days together. You are forever joined to this person under God. You make God a promise, to protect, honor, and cherish this gift (marriage) He has given you.
So, thinking about all of the things that come with being married, I have to ask myself; Do I really want to get married? Or do I really want to have a wedding and a party? I think many people have been so focused on the latter that when all the glitz and glamour goes away, they are clueless in the marriage and want out. People focus so much on the joy of getting engaged, showing off their ring, taking engagement photos, wedding photos, dancing at the reception; that they never have time to really ponder what comes after the wedding.
If you're a single person and hoping and praying for a husband or a wife, think deeper as to why you want to be married. Is it because all of your peers are getting married and having children? Trust me, the grass really does always look greener on the other side. Single people want marriage and family, while married people wish they would have waited a little while longer and could be single again to accomplish some things they hadn't gotten a chance to.
So my suggestion would be to really think about the reasons you are so looking forward to marriage. Then think about everything that marriage will entail and ask yourself, are you really ready for all of that? Enjoy your single-hood while you have the chance! Do everything you have ever dreamed, or at least attempt to do it. When you get married, your life is no longer your own. It's not when you're single either, because if you are saved, it belongs to God but you still have to only worry about you. Make right now the best time of your life, then that way, marriage can be even better!
Your GREATER IS COMING, enjoy every step of your journey!!!
Love you!
Keya
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Is He/She The One?
Hello,
So my thoughts for these last couple of days have been geared toward relationships. I have been seeing different couples get engaged and we're coming up on wedding season! It's all so very exciting. I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about relationships. He asked, what if a guy is saving up for a ring for his girl secretly but she gets impatient and decides to leave him because she feels he is taking too long to ask her? This sparked some great conversation.
It is my opinion, and mine alone, that if a man and a woman are deciding to embark on a relationship they should already have the goal of marriage in mind. I think that the two adults should, in the beginning of the relation, have an understanding of where things are going and agree on the course of the relationship together.
I strongly believe in premarital counseling. I understand most couples begin attending premarital counseling once they are engaged. In my opinion, premarital counseling is a good resources to help a couple learn each other and to come to know if they should be married. I think it would be a waste of time and money for the couple to wait until they are finally engaged and go to premarital counseling only to find out they should not get married to one another.
I prefer to use premarital counseling to find out, from the very beginning, if I should even be dating this person. Should I be investing my time into this person? Are we compatible? Will we make a good team? Can we solve problems together? Can we resolve conflict? These things, to me, are all good questions to ask from the very beginning; not after the man has spent his savings on a ring.
Marriage is a serious step. Dating is also serious. As we grow older, we should not waste our time with meaningless relationships. Each of our relationships should serve a purpose and help grow us. Our dating needs to have a purpose and that purpose should be marriage. Both parties need to agree on that at the very beginning.
Therefore, it is my strong opinion to begin premarital counseling just as soon as you two agree on making your relationship exclusive and significant. That way, if you find out you two just cannot work together, you know before so much money and time has been spent. It's harder to let go the longer you hold on. If the person is serious about you, they will agree to the premarital counseling as well. This is a good way to weed out the fakers. If they agree to go, then they are always making an excuse as to why they have to miss this appointment then that appointment, their not the one. A serious person will want to complete the counseling sessions if that means helping them to find out how to love you and getting them closer to being your husband or wife.
So, that's my two cents on finding out if he or she is the one. You have to take them through a process and be willing to go through the process as well. Marriage is not a joke! It should not be taken lightly. If you believe you found your good thing or your prince charming, take them through the process in order to be sure before putting a ring on it or accepting a ring.
Your GREATER IS COMING, be sure to recognize and find out how to hold on to it!
Love you!
Keya
So my thoughts for these last couple of days have been geared toward relationships. I have been seeing different couples get engaged and we're coming up on wedding season! It's all so very exciting. I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about relationships. He asked, what if a guy is saving up for a ring for his girl secretly but she gets impatient and decides to leave him because she feels he is taking too long to ask her? This sparked some great conversation.
It is my opinion, and mine alone, that if a man and a woman are deciding to embark on a relationship they should already have the goal of marriage in mind. I think that the two adults should, in the beginning of the relation, have an understanding of where things are going and agree on the course of the relationship together.
I strongly believe in premarital counseling. I understand most couples begin attending premarital counseling once they are engaged. In my opinion, premarital counseling is a good resources to help a couple learn each other and to come to know if they should be married. I think it would be a waste of time and money for the couple to wait until they are finally engaged and go to premarital counseling only to find out they should not get married to one another.
I prefer to use premarital counseling to find out, from the very beginning, if I should even be dating this person. Should I be investing my time into this person? Are we compatible? Will we make a good team? Can we solve problems together? Can we resolve conflict? These things, to me, are all good questions to ask from the very beginning; not after the man has spent his savings on a ring.
Marriage is a serious step. Dating is also serious. As we grow older, we should not waste our time with meaningless relationships. Each of our relationships should serve a purpose and help grow us. Our dating needs to have a purpose and that purpose should be marriage. Both parties need to agree on that at the very beginning.
Therefore, it is my strong opinion to begin premarital counseling just as soon as you two agree on making your relationship exclusive and significant. That way, if you find out you two just cannot work together, you know before so much money and time has been spent. It's harder to let go the longer you hold on. If the person is serious about you, they will agree to the premarital counseling as well. This is a good way to weed out the fakers. If they agree to go, then they are always making an excuse as to why they have to miss this appointment then that appointment, their not the one. A serious person will want to complete the counseling sessions if that means helping them to find out how to love you and getting them closer to being your husband or wife.
So, that's my two cents on finding out if he or she is the one. You have to take them through a process and be willing to go through the process as well. Marriage is not a joke! It should not be taken lightly. If you believe you found your good thing or your prince charming, take them through the process in order to be sure before putting a ring on it or accepting a ring.
Your GREATER IS COMING, be sure to recognize and find out how to hold on to it!
Love you!
Keya
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Your Future is Brighter
Hey There!
As you all may already know, my posts are inspired by my thoughts or my experiences of the past and present. Last night I went to sleep with a song in my head and woke up to it also. It's called "Moving Forward" by Israel Houghton. A lot of people have heard the song. It's very popular. I believe it's also recorded by another gospel artist as well.
Anyhow, we sang the song at church on Sunday and the way Revolution sings it, they include a declaration as sort of another bridge in the song that says this:
My past is the past
My future is brighter
Step by step
I'm moving, I'm moving
That is my favorite part of the song along with the part that repeats, "You make all things new and I will follow you forward". Philippians 3:13-14 reads: Brethren, I do not count myself apprehended; but one thing I d, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Paul is saying he may not have grasped the meaning of his past or understand why some of the things that happened, did happen but he is not going to allow his past to hold him back from moving forward toward his destiny! He's even saying he will forget even the good things that happened, the success that he had. Dwelling on things of the past is not going to help him keep looking ahead to his future.
Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in reminiscing on the good times, the good feelings, the nice memories we have about things, so much we get stuck and tend not to make forward progression. We know that God's plan is to give us a future and a hope. A future much better than where we currently are and where we have been. You have to know this for yourself, declare it, and proclaim it every single day no matter what.
We have to make the decision in ourselves to forget that which is behind us. Yes, it's hard and it's an ongoing process, but you have to be determined to move forward. When Paul says "forgetting those things which are behind", he uses the present tense of the word forget. It's something that has to be done daily. Let God transform you by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1-2). Begin to think on good things, true things. Philippians 4:8: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.
So, remember, your future is brighter. Leave the past exactly where it is...behind you. Focus your eyes, heart, and mind forward. Your GREATER IS COMING! Don't give up on it. Keep moving!!
Love you!
Keya
As you all may already know, my posts are inspired by my thoughts or my experiences of the past and present. Last night I went to sleep with a song in my head and woke up to it also. It's called "Moving Forward" by Israel Houghton. A lot of people have heard the song. It's very popular. I believe it's also recorded by another gospel artist as well.
Anyhow, we sang the song at church on Sunday and the way Revolution sings it, they include a declaration as sort of another bridge in the song that says this:
My past is the past
My future is brighter
Step by step
I'm moving, I'm moving
That is my favorite part of the song along with the part that repeats, "You make all things new and I will follow you forward". Philippians 3:13-14 reads: Brethren, I do not count myself apprehended; but one thing I d, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Paul is saying he may not have grasped the meaning of his past or understand why some of the things that happened, did happen but he is not going to allow his past to hold him back from moving forward toward his destiny! He's even saying he will forget even the good things that happened, the success that he had. Dwelling on things of the past is not going to help him keep looking ahead to his future.
Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in reminiscing on the good times, the good feelings, the nice memories we have about things, so much we get stuck and tend not to make forward progression. We know that God's plan is to give us a future and a hope. A future much better than where we currently are and where we have been. You have to know this for yourself, declare it, and proclaim it every single day no matter what.
We have to make the decision in ourselves to forget that which is behind us. Yes, it's hard and it's an ongoing process, but you have to be determined to move forward. When Paul says "forgetting those things which are behind", he uses the present tense of the word forget. It's something that has to be done daily. Let God transform you by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:1-2). Begin to think on good things, true things. Philippians 4:8: Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things.
So, remember, your future is brighter. Leave the past exactly where it is...behind you. Focus your eyes, heart, and mind forward. Your GREATER IS COMING! Don't give up on it. Keep moving!!
Love you!
Keya
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Fellas!: 10 Tips On How to Impress and Keep a REAL WOMAN
Hey Guys! This one is just for you. I realize sometimes guys need tips on the "how to's" on approaching and being with a woman. You may think you have your game tight but if you are looking for a lifetime woman; a REAL, mature woman, I can share a few tips with you. Of course the MAIN and MOST IMPORTANT thing you need is a REAL RELATIONSHIP with God before you approach any REAL woman. Not one of them gangsta rapper's, "I'd like to give honor to God", relationships. You need to truly be chasing after God and love Him more than you love ANYTHING or ANYONE on this earth.
I will start with the small feats first. Although you may think these things are no big deal, to women they say a lot!
Your approach: The way you look and the way you smell says a lot to a woman.
1. Make sure that you are well-groomed, i.e., fresh cut, fresh shave, neat, clean clothes (the ones that fit, not that extra baggy, saggy, stuff), nice cologne (not the whole bottle though, that makes us sick to the stomach), etc. Us women take time in making sure we are well kept and so should you. It makes you appear well put together and organized. Like you have a purpose and you're not just wandering around here aimlessly looking for the next piece of, you know what, to get in your bed. Oh, and REAL WOMEN, are NOT attracted to the marijuana smell. It's revolting! It says that you are lazy, immature, and need to grow up. That may not be the case for you but that is what that smell says.
2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have fresh breath! Stale or bad breath can be an IMMEDIATE turn off! Make sure to have a fresh piece of minty gum or some type of mint in your mouth when you go to talk to a woman. If you have been chewing your piece of gum for an hour, spit it out and put in a brand new piece right before you approach the woman. It may seem simple, but good smelling, minty breath is VERY attractive! Bad, stale breath is offensive. Be courteous enough to make sure she has a pleasant experience when she is speaking with you in close range. It will make her more apt to want to kiss you once you start getting to know each other better. Bad breath will make her not want to talk to you face to face but rather over the phone or by text and if she does talk to you in person, she will keep her distance and a kiss will be the furthest thing from her mind. So, always do a breath check, whether you ask a friend if it smells ok or just be on the safe side and pop in a fresh new piece of gum. NEVER chew the fruity gum. That does not work at all. AND NEVER EVER POP YOUR GUM. That is a bit girly and will make you look a little suspect.
(Number 2 was long but I am telling you, it is VERY important)
3. When you ask for her name, REMEMBER IT. If you have to repeat it over and over in your head so that you don't forget, do that. If you do forget, ask her again. She's a lady. She is not your "Ma". You just met her so she is not your "boo" or "baby". Although it is flattering to be thought of as "sexy" by a man, that's not the only thing we want to be known for. Calling us "sexy" makes a woman think the first thing your thinking of is sex. (As you can see I said it makes a WOMAN feel that way, a girl will probably eat it right up and give you exactly what you want). Women like to be respected and to feel like they matter. Forgetting their name right away and not taking the time to ask again is selfish and disrespectful. Just ask. And if you do remember, it makes a woman feel like you actually care.
4. Be confident but don't be over confident or "cocky". Women like a man who appears to know exactly what he wants and who has faith in himself. Timidity is not attractive at all. If you're going to do something, do it. Although you may be nervous as ever, don't let us see it. Keep yourself together. It exhibits some strength from you and gives a woman a sense of security that you aren't afraid. Makes her feel as though, someday, you will be able to protect her and that she can look to you to be her rock when she needs you to. When she sees nerves and knows you're scared about this or that, it makes her feel like she's going to have to do the protecting. NO WOMAN wants to have to protect herself and her man all of the time! If that's the case, she may as well stay single. Although, later down the line, once you are closer; sharing a few of your fears with her will bring you closer as a couple but spilling every single fear you have right in the beginning will make her think twice about if you are going to be man enough to take care of her. She will begin to see you as the one she is going have to pick up and cradle in her arms like a baby. She dose NOT want to be your mama.
5. Be masculine. Exhibit your manly side. Although, sensitivity is sweet and it is nice to know that you're not made of complete stone, if you are in your feelings more than she is then you are out of balance. Men are masculine, women are feminine. If you take all of the femininity, what's left for her? DO NOT steal her role as a woman. I am not saying you shouldn't be lovey dovey with your woman, just give her the opportunity to initiate the mushy stuff. Don't be beating her to the punch every single time. It can get a little frustrating for her because it makes her feel like she cannot be the soft, sensual woman that she is because you are! Be the MAN she wants and needs. Speak with authority, love her, and be sensitive to her feelings but don't be all in yours. There needs to be a balance so that you're not stepping too far over into her territory and she's not stepping too far over into yours.
6. Be Honest. NEVER start any relationship with a lie. If you cannot be honest with her, you are not ready for her. She's not the one for you. Trust is earned. You don't have her trust, you'll never have her! Psalm 34:13 reads "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceit". Proverbs12:17 reads, "He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit". Verse 19 reads, "The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment". And verse 22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight".
7. Be Friends. Being able to communicate with the woman you're with is important. If you two build a friendship, it will be much easier to communicate. You build a rapport with one another, you learn one another, and you begin to trust one another. Being friends is a major deal. Being able to laugh together, play together, learn together, and grow together will really set a strong foundation in your relationship. Don't make up in your mind, "I'm her man, she's my woman" and that's it. That's when you get all paranoid, possessive, jealous, etc. That's not hot at all. Proverbs 17:17 reads, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". You two should be so close as friends that you are like family. Not in a weird, incest way but you are growing into the family you will create someday.
8. Be Dependable. Be there when she needs you. If she has to depend on her parents more than she can depend on you. That is a problem! You may not be ready to be the man for her. Make sure you are capable of being there when she calls on you because if she can't depend on you, then who else can she depend on? You don't want her to have to go to outside sources. She needs to be able to have faith in whatever she needs, she can always count on you!
9. Make Her Feel Special. She should have all the confidence in the world that she is YOUR ONE AND ONLY. She should never be made to feel otherwise. You must reassure her that she's all you ever want and need. Not just with words but with action also. She should not be treated the same as any of the other female friends you may have. There should be a clear distinction between the way you treat her and the way you treat other women. She should NEVER feel like she has to share you with ANYONE. She should never have to ask you to change the way you behave with this woman or that woman. She should never have to wonder about your friendship with another woman. She should always be in the know and you should respect her enough to make sure she is always in the know and knows the truth about everything.
10. Love Her. Love is more than just a word or some sweet words you text to her in the morning or throughout the day. Love is an action! The things you do for her, with her in mind, etc., all show that you love her. The people you hang out with, the things you talk about with others when it comes to her are all examples of your love for her. She should NEVER EVER have to wonder about your love for her. She should never have to question your love. Figure out new, innovative ways to show her that you love her every single day. It does not stop when you marry her either. You have to invent ways to profess your undying love for her over and over again until God decides He needs her back up in Heaven.
Ok, I could go on and on but that should be good enough for now. I hope this helps some guy, any guy out there who needs a little help with pursuing the girl of his dreams. Here's one freebie tip: NEVER STOP PURSUING HER. Unless she has made it clear that there is never going to be anything between you two, pursue her even after you put a ring on it. Don't be a stalker though. No really does mean No. If she says no, she wasn't the one. Keep things in prayer also. Pray about who God wants you to pursue.
You have all the power within you to get what you want or who you want, you just have to know how to use it and you need to use it in the right way. Your Good Thing is waiting for you, you just have to find her!
Hope this helps a little.
Keya
I will start with the small feats first. Although you may think these things are no big deal, to women they say a lot!
Your approach: The way you look and the way you smell says a lot to a woman.
1. Make sure that you are well-groomed, i.e., fresh cut, fresh shave, neat, clean clothes (the ones that fit, not that extra baggy, saggy, stuff), nice cologne (not the whole bottle though, that makes us sick to the stomach), etc. Us women take time in making sure we are well kept and so should you. It makes you appear well put together and organized. Like you have a purpose and you're not just wandering around here aimlessly looking for the next piece of, you know what, to get in your bed. Oh, and REAL WOMEN, are NOT attracted to the marijuana smell. It's revolting! It says that you are lazy, immature, and need to grow up. That may not be the case for you but that is what that smell says.
2. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS have fresh breath! Stale or bad breath can be an IMMEDIATE turn off! Make sure to have a fresh piece of minty gum or some type of mint in your mouth when you go to talk to a woman. If you have been chewing your piece of gum for an hour, spit it out and put in a brand new piece right before you approach the woman. It may seem simple, but good smelling, minty breath is VERY attractive! Bad, stale breath is offensive. Be courteous enough to make sure she has a pleasant experience when she is speaking with you in close range. It will make her more apt to want to kiss you once you start getting to know each other better. Bad breath will make her not want to talk to you face to face but rather over the phone or by text and if she does talk to you in person, she will keep her distance and a kiss will be the furthest thing from her mind. So, always do a breath check, whether you ask a friend if it smells ok or just be on the safe side and pop in a fresh new piece of gum. NEVER chew the fruity gum. That does not work at all. AND NEVER EVER POP YOUR GUM. That is a bit girly and will make you look a little suspect.
(Number 2 was long but I am telling you, it is VERY important)
3. When you ask for her name, REMEMBER IT. If you have to repeat it over and over in your head so that you don't forget, do that. If you do forget, ask her again. She's a lady. She is not your "Ma". You just met her so she is not your "boo" or "baby". Although it is flattering to be thought of as "sexy" by a man, that's not the only thing we want to be known for. Calling us "sexy" makes a woman think the first thing your thinking of is sex. (As you can see I said it makes a WOMAN feel that way, a girl will probably eat it right up and give you exactly what you want). Women like to be respected and to feel like they matter. Forgetting their name right away and not taking the time to ask again is selfish and disrespectful. Just ask. And if you do remember, it makes a woman feel like you actually care.
4. Be confident but don't be over confident or "cocky". Women like a man who appears to know exactly what he wants and who has faith in himself. Timidity is not attractive at all. If you're going to do something, do it. Although you may be nervous as ever, don't let us see it. Keep yourself together. It exhibits some strength from you and gives a woman a sense of security that you aren't afraid. Makes her feel as though, someday, you will be able to protect her and that she can look to you to be her rock when she needs you to. When she sees nerves and knows you're scared about this or that, it makes her feel like she's going to have to do the protecting. NO WOMAN wants to have to protect herself and her man all of the time! If that's the case, she may as well stay single. Although, later down the line, once you are closer; sharing a few of your fears with her will bring you closer as a couple but spilling every single fear you have right in the beginning will make her think twice about if you are going to be man enough to take care of her. She will begin to see you as the one she is going have to pick up and cradle in her arms like a baby. She dose NOT want to be your mama.
5. Be masculine. Exhibit your manly side. Although, sensitivity is sweet and it is nice to know that you're not made of complete stone, if you are in your feelings more than she is then you are out of balance. Men are masculine, women are feminine. If you take all of the femininity, what's left for her? DO NOT steal her role as a woman. I am not saying you shouldn't be lovey dovey with your woman, just give her the opportunity to initiate the mushy stuff. Don't be beating her to the punch every single time. It can get a little frustrating for her because it makes her feel like she cannot be the soft, sensual woman that she is because you are! Be the MAN she wants and needs. Speak with authority, love her, and be sensitive to her feelings but don't be all in yours. There needs to be a balance so that you're not stepping too far over into her territory and she's not stepping too far over into yours.
6. Be Honest. NEVER start any relationship with a lie. If you cannot be honest with her, you are not ready for her. She's not the one for you. Trust is earned. You don't have her trust, you'll never have her! Psalm 34:13 reads "Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from deceit". Proverbs12:17 reads, "He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit". Verse 19 reads, "The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment". And verse 22, "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight".
7. Be Friends. Being able to communicate with the woman you're with is important. If you two build a friendship, it will be much easier to communicate. You build a rapport with one another, you learn one another, and you begin to trust one another. Being friends is a major deal. Being able to laugh together, play together, learn together, and grow together will really set a strong foundation in your relationship. Don't make up in your mind, "I'm her man, she's my woman" and that's it. That's when you get all paranoid, possessive, jealous, etc. That's not hot at all. Proverbs 17:17 reads, "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity". You two should be so close as friends that you are like family. Not in a weird, incest way but you are growing into the family you will create someday.
8. Be Dependable. Be there when she needs you. If she has to depend on her parents more than she can depend on you. That is a problem! You may not be ready to be the man for her. Make sure you are capable of being there when she calls on you because if she can't depend on you, then who else can she depend on? You don't want her to have to go to outside sources. She needs to be able to have faith in whatever she needs, she can always count on you!
9. Make Her Feel Special. She should have all the confidence in the world that she is YOUR ONE AND ONLY. She should never be made to feel otherwise. You must reassure her that she's all you ever want and need. Not just with words but with action also. She should not be treated the same as any of the other female friends you may have. There should be a clear distinction between the way you treat her and the way you treat other women. She should NEVER feel like she has to share you with ANYONE. She should never have to ask you to change the way you behave with this woman or that woman. She should never have to wonder about your friendship with another woman. She should always be in the know and you should respect her enough to make sure she is always in the know and knows the truth about everything.
10. Love Her. Love is more than just a word or some sweet words you text to her in the morning or throughout the day. Love is an action! The things you do for her, with her in mind, etc., all show that you love her. The people you hang out with, the things you talk about with others when it comes to her are all examples of your love for her. She should NEVER EVER have to wonder about your love for her. She should never have to question your love. Figure out new, innovative ways to show her that you love her every single day. It does not stop when you marry her either. You have to invent ways to profess your undying love for her over and over again until God decides He needs her back up in Heaven.
Ok, I could go on and on but that should be good enough for now. I hope this helps some guy, any guy out there who needs a little help with pursuing the girl of his dreams. Here's one freebie tip: NEVER STOP PURSUING HER. Unless she has made it clear that there is never going to be anything between you two, pursue her even after you put a ring on it. Don't be a stalker though. No really does mean No. If she says no, she wasn't the one. Keep things in prayer also. Pray about who God wants you to pursue.
You have all the power within you to get what you want or who you want, you just have to know how to use it and you need to use it in the right way. Your Good Thing is waiting for you, you just have to find her!
Hope this helps a little.
Keya
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