To Move On Or Not To Move On?

Hi there!

Today is a good day. The weather is beautiful here in Edwardsville, IL. I am actually on the boarder of Illinois and Missouri. I have been having a relaxing time enjoying the change of scenery. I can honestly say my anxiety has lessened. Praise the Lord! I am so appreciative of my friend trying her best to make sure I have the best time I can and keep my mind off of the hurtful things that have occurred recently. She is so wonderful and I really am enjoying myself.

As hard as I try, it's hard to keep my mind from constantly turning. The battle right now is between my heart and my head. Struggling with the decision to move on or not to move on makes things very difficult. I have never been in this sort of situation before. I am learning as I go and I am sharing my journey with you.

If I had to be completely honest, I am in an indecisive place right now. Love conquers all... that's in the bible, sort of. Love is one of the most powerful emotions ever. It can cause you to forgive and go on loving the person that hurt you, hoping that they change for the better. A heart doesn't know how to just push someone out and quit loving them as soon as they mess up, at least not my heart anyway.

My prayer now is that God guide all my decisions and give me an extraordinary peace with whatever decision I make. Proverbs 3:5 reads:  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He shall direct your path.  Right now I need my path directed. I so badly want to take matters into my own hands and have what my heart seems to be desiring right now but I also want God's plans for me because I know they will surpass all of my fleshy desires and give me greater joy than I could ever give myself.

I realize the battle that I am fighting is not natural, it's spiritual. Thank God the battle is already won! Please pray my strength as I get through this part of the journey with much grace and find a sense of peace in the decisions I make.

This post was actually started on 5/18/13. I had the best time yesterday. I'm so grateful God loves me enough to place wonderful people in my life to help me through this difficult time. It's going to get better because GREATER IS COMING!