I'm In Love With A MAN!

I’m in love with a MAN

A REAL MAN

Not the kind that’s selfish and self-centered

Controlled by his ego and still living with his mama

 

This MAN is Independent

Selfless

Loving

Caring

Sensitive

And puts me before himself

 

I’m in love with a MAN

A REAL MAN

Not the kind that cares more about getting his bread up,

Making a name for himself, and  “turning up” every weekend,

Than he does about being there for his family

 

This MAN chases God

Prays for his future wife

Intercedes for his child

Worships through hardships

Meditates on the Word

And surrounds himself with wise, Godly counsel

 

I’m in love with a MAN

A REAL MAN

He understands what it means to be the head of the household, to provide for his family and to love his wife as Christ loves the church. He exercises the ability to make me number 1 in his life as well as ensure me of the security of the spot that I hold.

 

I’m in love with a MAN

A REAL MAN

The ONE God created me for and him for me. We were purposed to be brought together at the right time,  allowing Jehovah to perfect us for one another.

He is a MAN of God, a leader in the Kingdom.  A MAN I am willing and anxious to follow.

I’m in love with a MAN

He’s THE MAN

He’s MY MAN

And I am ever so grateful!

 

So this is just some inspired writing that I wanted to share. As you can see, I have been slacking on my posts. None the less, I have thought about my readers and I can share that I a doing wonderful! God continues to work his loving grace and mercy throughout my life. I have had some days of missing physical companionship, having a main person to be my movie partner, arcade buddy or just plain roll dawg . The enemy would try to bring all sorts of negative things into my mind about me and the things I have experienced but then God reminds me of how good He is and how much of a good time He and I can have together! My dear brothers and sisters, remember that victory cannot be won if you do not have an opponent to overcome! Your Greater is Coming if it has not already gotten to you yet. No matter what you are feeling, going through or what it looks like, just know, YOUR BEST IS YET TO COME! HOLD ON! MY GREATER IS HERE!

Open Book: Transparent

Good morning,
Good night,
Good afternoon,

Whatever it may be to you, I pray it is a good one. Here I am again, opening myself up completely to you, my readers and also to myself.

As you all may know by now, I don't mind being transparent for all to see. In my opinion, I'm giving others a chance to learn, experience and derive hope through me. I have had a few of you testify to the latter; hope. It brings me great joy to know that through the sharing of my pain, my attacks and my victories, I am helping someone else. Like I always say and strongly believe, I never go through anything just for myself... It's always for someone else.

So where are you, Nikeya, with this process? How are you handling everything up until now? I'd say I have been doing exceptionally well. God has been doing an excellent job at showing me where I'm headed, reminding me of where He brought me from, what He protected me from and allowing me to love in spite of my hurts; it amazes me! I had no clue I would experience some of the wonderful feelings I am experiencing at the present time.

With that being said, the enemy is still at work. I must admit to you, just because it may feel like he's let up a little, doesn't mean you're in the clear. It only means he went back to the drawing board to come up with a different strategy; a different plan of attack. I find now, since he could not win by attempting to harden my heart and make me bitter, he has now moved on to my trust.

Realizing the person who attempted to marry me, not even three months ago, has moved on rather quickly and begun his new life with his new child's mother has caused me to wonder; was any of it ever real? Are the things anyone ever says to me real? Male or female. Are those people who tell me things or share information with me, are they really doing it because they care or are they purposely trying to hurt me also? I seem to can't help but question everyone's motives now. My trust has been completely betrayed and probably, just like many of you, when your trust is betrayed you begin to keep an eye on everyone around you no matter how close you are or how long you've known the person.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is the scripture that has to guide me right now. The scripture tells me to trust in the Lord with ALL my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in ALL my ways acknowledge Him and He will direct my paths. I place an emphasis on ALL because the word is said twice and it appears to stick out to me. It makes me feel like, right now, it is OK for me to feel the way I do towards human beings, the people around me because ALL of my trust needs to be in the Lord. He's the only One who is always constant. He will never leave me nor forsake me. He keeps His promises. His word never returns to Him void. I'm more than grateful for who He is and who He has been in my life. He continues to walk with me, moving me forward and opening countless doors!

So, I said all of that to say, not all feelings we feel during our process are bad. We just need to recognize them, know what the word says and know what to do with them. Don't freely hand them over to the enemy to manipulate and distort. EVERYONE IS NOT OUT TO GET YOU (I'm speaking to myself also). Give it ALL to God and let Him complete His perfect work. I am progressing wonderfully, better than I thought I would in the beginning, but I have to let Him complete the work. I cannot stop it prematurely just because I feel good. I'm still claiming that my Greater is here. I also need to be whole to experience my Greater to the fullest! Let the work continue! Don't lose hope. Your GREATER IS COMING!

When's The Wedding?

Greetings all!

Update: I'M DOING GREAT! So much has changed with regards to my emotional health. I am happier, more content, more fulfilled than I can ever remember! God continues to work and do wonders in my life. I'm so grateful for this entire process.

With all of that being said, I'm sure you can guess where I am in my process!  The healing continues to take place and I feel closer and closer to my blessing everyday. If I'm getting closer to my Greater then that must mean I'm moving further and further away from that which the devil tried to use to stop me.

I have been making great strides. I titled this post, "When's The Wedding? " because since I have been back to work and into the groove of the real world, that is the question that has begun to get asked. Now, in the beginning of this process, to hear that question would have brought about pain, embarrassment, shame, and whatever else the enemy would have tried to beat me down with. The first time the question was asked was when I realized, God has done so much work in me! I didn't get choked up at all, I didn't feel any bad feelings. What I felt was relief and pure happiness! To know that I'm not a part of a life filled with drama and sin is the most wonderful blessing! 

I have never felt so free, alive and like I can be myself without feeling like I need to hide some of who I am so not to offend the other person. I can love God, talk about my love for Him and be understood and accepted all while doing it! God has brought an amazing friend into my life who challenges me to grow more and more spiritually! I also still have the support of good Christian family and friends who love me. God has given me something to hold on to! 

He is giving me a glimpse of that which He has in store and wants for me. I'm happy! I'm not sad at all. I'm so glad I went through what I did because it has formed a great appreciation for the real thing! The pure, true, honest things God has waiting for me and I'm so excited as I see myself having them more and more!  My worship has intensified. I have been focusing on the gifts God has blessed me with and I have been getting blessed all the while! 

My Greater is here and I'm so happy to share it with you! I'm excited to tell you that it doesn't have to take long. Trust Him! Follow Him! Obey Him! You will receive more than you ever could imagine!  Keep hanging in there with me and I will do the same for you. My smile had returned and is here to stay! 

I'm just as excited for you as I am for me! GREATER IS COMING!

Anticipating: A Poem to My Greater.

Hello all!

I realize I am going to have to set time on the weekends for my posts. For some reason my weekdays tend to fill too much or go too quickly and I don't seem to be able to write like I wish. Today, I have decided to write a poem. Somewhat of a prophetic, looking ahead at what I believe God has waiting for me. The man of God He has so skillfully prepared for my arrival. Sometimes, you have to get excited for yourself. The word says God will give us the desires of our hearts as long as we keep His commandments. Walking with Him leads us directly to what He knows we have so longed for. My excitement has been building and continues to build, I am now anticipating the manifestation. Here goes...

To my husband, my best friend, my lover, my protector...

I want to start off by telling you that I love you
From the first day of my existence my heart was created for you
Ever since I was a little girl I would imagine our future together
How exited I'd be for the day you'd come to love me forever.

Reading stories of Prince Charming, dreaming of this type of fella
Who would not cease looking to find me, like I was his Cinderella
Having hopes of a fairy tale, just like the ones I read in books
As long as he sees me as his princess, I wouldn't care how he looked

Growing and experiencing all sorts of different pains
From heartbreak to heartbreak, I felt I would go insane
Then I looked to Jesus, who has been mending every wound
Providing me with hope that your love would find me soon.

Preparing me for my destiny, each experience was a lesson
Training me to differentiate the evil from the blessing
I am finally free with divine insight, no longer am I chasing,
Instead I stand still with patience, waiting, anticipating...

So many frauds and counterfeits crossed my path before you
Faking, fronting, pretending but they could never be you
Your genuine love and heart for God has captivated my spirit
You've always had the key to my heart, you just hadn't been near it

Well now it's time you unlock and set free all that has been trapped inside
The love, compassion and joy I have for you is becoming hard to hide
I know the journey has been long and the different pain excruciating
"The reward is great" is what I think, while I'm waiting, anticipating...

The day you come to get me and take me into your arms
I know I will be instantly in love and it won't be because of your charm
It's because I prayed for you, I asked God to keep you and me
Until that special day in His timing that we meet our destiny

My heart beats crazy inside my chest as I think of when that day will come
It's hard for me to maintain my composure when I think of you being the one
Patience is virtue and love is patient, these verses I continue stating
As I hold on to hope and my love for you, waiting, anticipating...


Well, that's the end of my poem. I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't go plagiarizing. LOL..I'm serious though. I just wanted to share this so that it can be evident to my readers, the people who have gone through or are currently going through the type of hurt, heartache, battle, etc. that I have or maybe even worse; that God can change your perspective. He can be you strength, He can encourage you, He can give you hope again. The devil likes to attack the heart. Especially the heart of those God created to provide the body of Christ with a supernatural kind of love for Him. Don't let your heart be hardened. Continue to look to the Lord and He will grant you far beyond what you thought you desired! I am still here for you. Still praying for you and still believing with you that GREATER IS COMING! It's here, just take a hold of it!

My Greater Is Here!

Hi!!

It has been a little while since I last wrote. I do apologize. Good news is, God is still working! He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. I'm still going through the process of healing and restoration. Things have gotten much easier. My mind has other things to think on and imagine. Good things. I'm so blessed.

With getting back to work and back into the groove of reality, my time really hasn't been managed well. That is my fault and I promise to doa better job. So many new, unexpected things have occurred sincei last wrote. Exciting things. God is really moving on my behalf. My greater is here! My smile has completely returned.
My joy has been fulfilled, my heart is still in the Lord's  hands and it has so much to hold on and look forward to. It's amazing how God will work in and through things and/or people to help with your healing and restoration! We just have to allow Him to work.

I'm sure you have noticed that in the beginning of my process, when the pain was fresh and strong, my posts seemed to be much longer. As the days went on, as I spent more time in the presence of the Lord, as I lived out my purpose to be a worshipper and worshipped my way through this thing, my posts looked to get shorter and shorter. It's not because I didn't want to write, at times I would be at so much peace, so full of joy that I would draw a blank and just go through my previous posts reading my words, your comments and smile.

The scriptures that I have share with you, they are being or have been made real in my experience. God has begun to move me into a new place. He has kept my heart soft and my mind free in order that I may be able to recognised that which is truly of Him and not shun it away. I truly have a peace that passes all understanding! Do I at times still think of how wrongly I was treated and how devalued I was and how could a person be so cruel? Not often but the thought has arisen. Then I think of the wonderful things God has waiting for me that will restore and supersede all that the enemy thought he took from me. God is giving me more than I deserve! I'm more than grateful. My trust in Him has never swayed. My ability to be honest with Him, cry out to Him and express my feelings has allowed me to draw nearer to Him and establish an even more intimate relationship than before. God has been answering my prayers and letting me know He hears me. I have been having the most amazing experience ever!

Friends, I know things can be tough, the pain may be fresh and strong. It may even feel like it will never go away but I garuntee and am a living witness that if you hold on to Him for dear life, get His word down into your heart and trust it to come to pass, it will! I'm still saying it and I'm still believing it.. GREATER IS COMING! And I am now beginning to see that it's already here! Hold on, you're closer than you think!

ATTENTION!!!!

Hey there!

Did I get your attention with the title of this post? I hope so! Today I experienced a bit of relief, well more than just a bit. I was able to put my finger on my feelings and I discovered something about myself that I have known for a long time but did not really connect it to my relationships in the sense that I have come to realize today. I have a feeling, this discovery I made about myself, may also be a discovery others could make about themselves.

Attention. Whether we admit it or not, we all like some sort of attention. Even shy people like a little attention. Not the kind of attention people get when they are acting a fool or when you are out in front of a lot of people and everyone is looking at you. The kind of attention we get from significant others or people we feel are special in our lives. Maybe I should just speak for myself, but I like getting phone calls, text messages, emails, special gifts at work just because. It feels nice to know that someone is thinking about you.

When you are in a relationship or have someone special, you tend to get that attention. I know I did. So as I sat and thought today, I began to think about what I really miss. Do I really miss the person who purposely betrayed my trust and lied to my face over and over or do I miss what the person gave me. Attention! The attention made me feel special, made me feel like I was wanted. Quite frankly, I could get the attention from anyone else and feel just as special. Am I an attention seeker? No, I don't think so but I like to hear my phone ringing, I like to talk to someone, text someone, be asked to go to the movies with someone.

So when you think about the person who hurt you or broke your heart and you miss them and maybe even consider going back for another try, think deeper into what you are really missing? Do you miss being lied to? Do you miss feeling as though the person is never genuine? Do you miss being cheated on? Or do you miss having someone checking for you, someone who makes you think they are thinking of you, or just having your phone ring or vibrate from calls or texts? I think I just like my phone blowing up..lol. I don't miss the lying, cheating, intentionally evil person who never deserved me. As a matter of fact, when you think about it, you probably have a sense of relief not to have to worry about what the person is doing, where the person is, who the person is with, or if the person is lying to you. I know I do!

Realizing what I miss was not the actual person who I never really knew in the first place, but the attention, was quite refreshing. I feel like I have learned something deeper about myself. It has definitely helped with the process. I can move forward knowing what I valued most in any of my relationships. It was always the attention. Makes me question if I loved the actual person or just the attention. Hmmm...something to think about yourself also. Now that I am aware of what I loved so much, I can now get to the root of why I love it so much. Looking deeper into yourself and what you feel can be the most rewarding thing that you can ever do! Let God show you what's going on inside you and then give it to Him to heal or to turn it into something for His glory! Open up to yourself, find out about yourself, and let God repair and prepare you because GREATER IS COMING!

To The Other Woman

I'd like to take the time to speak to the dreaded "other woman" today. The topic has been on my mind. (I was watching Love & Hip Hop last night, my guilty pleasure, and I felt really bad for Shay) If you don't watch the show, you probably don't know what I am talking about but this young lady is where I was a few years ago, continually drawn back into this man's love triangle with the inability to tell him no. This will not be a "bash" post but rather an informative yet encouraging post, in my hopes anyway.

When we think of the "other woman", we often think of the home wrecking female who has no self-respect and will open her legs for the attention of another woman's man. That's what she appears to be but what she really is, is a hurt woman. A woman who has fallen in love with another woman's man and cannot break the connection because the man continues to hold her on a string. It's not always the case that the woman blatantly tries to entice another woman's man, although in some cases it is, but majority of the time, this woman has made some kind of emotional connection with this man and he took advantage of that, catching her up in his love triangle. Creating in her mind that there is actually something special between them when he is only using her for his sexual pleasure. As the "other woman", you will never have his heart. His heart is with the woman he calls wife, fiancé or girlfriend. If he really cared about you, he would be claiming you and not keeping you a secret or just making house calls when it's convenient for him. He may take you to lunch every once in a while, somewhere where no one who knows his REAL woman will see. He never takes you around his family or his friends, unless you have mutual friends. The people who really matter to him has never heard your name or seen your face or he if they have, he has never introduced you as "girlfriend". It's a harsh truth but I know these things because I was in the "other woman's" shoes. I felt what she felt. I was often left lonely when the guy would go back to where his heart really was.

My heart goes out to the "other woman". She doesn't know her worth. God has a special place in his heart for us women. We are called to be virtuous wives. He calls us, "more precious than rubies"! (Proverbs 31:10). Every thing that God created is beautiful and perfect. We were "fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). We, as women, have to know our worth. When we don't know our worth or aren't affirmed in how valuable we are, we tend to settle for what we can get. We will settle for a man who is already attached because we just want somebody. I'm telling you today, YOU DESERVE MUCH MORE! If he has already put a ring on another woman's finger, he is not yours and he does not value your worth at all. If he only wants sex from you the majority of the time, he does not value your worth. Now if you are the type of woman who just does not care and you are happy with yourself for breaking up a marriage, engagement, etc., then you are in my prayers. I believe the saying "the way you got the man is the same way you will lose him". What makes you think he will suddenly change and be faithful to you if he was messing with you behind his wife's, fiancé's or girlfriend's back? You think you can put some sort of magic on him? You're probably thinking, "If I have his baby then he will have to love me". Nope, still doesn't work that way. Some of you may succeed, but you yourself know that the love won't be authentic or real. Proverbs 6:23-26 warns the man of the seductress woman or harlot (which in today's language is whore).

Ladies, I want to encourage you not to settle. Don't be some man's play toy. Don't allow him to constantly devalue you. You are worth and deserve much more than that. Proverbs 18:22 says: He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. You are somebody's "good thing", you will bring some good man favor from the Lord! Notice it says HE that finds a wife not SHE that goes looking for a man to make her husband. Ask God to prepare you for your husband, to grow you into the woman He created you to be so that when your husband finds you he will have no doubt that you are his "good thing". Know that God has something greater for you! Jeremiah 17:7 says: Blessed is the man (or woman) who trusts in the Lord and whose hope is in the Lord. Trust God to bless you! He will give you the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him (Psalm 37:4). I know it can be hard to tear yourself away from a man after you are emotionally invested, it may even be hard for you tell Him no, but if you continue being someone's "side chick", you will never be someone's "good thing". Believe that GREATER IS COMING and set yourself in a position to receive greater!