Here I am once again,
I have decided to make more of a purposeful effort to write everyday. God continues to work in my life and all glory belongs to Him for how far I have come. I would just like to share where I am at this point.
As you all know, a chapter of my life has ended and I have begun to open up a brand new chapter, with brand new feelings and brand new experiences. I recognize that God has brought me into a new season, a new day, a brand new beginning.
There is a lot on my mind at this time. I have found myself in a search mode once again. A place I have not been in since I was about 22 years old. I am realizing that the old has passed away and everything really has become new. It is almost as if I am starting all over from the beginning and I have been given a second chance to do things better than before. Now this is a great thing! Who doesn't want a second chance? My God is the God of second chance.
Well why aren't I absolutely ecstatic about this brand new blank page??? Why do I feel like it will take me forever to get where I want to be now? Before, I felt as though I was getting closer to the things I wanted such as being a wife, being a mother, having my own family, being the ultimate adult. Now it's like I have to start all over from scratch! How long will it take? I understand patience is virtue but just how long will I have to wait? How much work needs to be completed in me at this time? I see what I want and I am ready to be there now. I am not getting any younger. I feel like I am running out of time! My peers around me have been moving forward in their lives, getting married and starting their own families and I am being left behind. I feel like I have to play catch up!
Yes, I know everyone is in different seasons at different times. This season, I'm sure is a season where God wants to use me completely for His glory. I understand that. I have been catapulted to new levels in my worship and my gift is making way for me. But if I take the time to be honest, I long for these other things. Is that so bad? I am human.
As I sit here, thinking about all that I long for, how far away it seems to me. I open my bible and the verse that is revealed to me is, 1 Corinthians 2:9 which reads: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him. I love Him! That means me! If you love Him, that means you!! Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own thoughts, and the enemy can run with those thoughts and we start to believe our own thoughts and forget that God has the final say so. Isaiah 55:8 reads: For My thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My thoughts than your thoughts. And you know what he said about His thoughts in Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Now if that isn't good news, I don't know what is!! This post goes to show that the best way to put to rest your own, carnal thoughts and fears is to open up your bible and read the words of the Lord to bring you comfort and to calm all of the fears that the enemy has been trying to run rapid with. I know we all make plans for our lives. I for sure did and they did not work out the way I wanted them. I was supposed to have been married for 5 years by now and have at least 2 children according to my plan. But guess what?! God's plans are the best plans. We don't know them and that is the hard part of it all, but the best thing for me or anyone else can do is TRUST Him.
So there, this post just ministered to me if it didn't minister to anyone else. Greater is coming! It gets here and then God has more!!!! Hold on with me! We get a brand new chance, let's be grateful for it together!!!!
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